


Chaste

by lawgoddess



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Age Difference, Dubious Consent, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-01
Updated: 2013-03-01
Packaged: 2017-12-04 01:04:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 41,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/704689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lawgoddess/pseuds/lawgoddess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Originally posted at Kink Me Merlin for this prompt: Arthur/Merlin, underage/virginity kinks -- executive/CEO!Arthur (in his thirties or older) somehow notices a 15yo!Merlin (intern? employee's son?) wearing a purity/virginity ring. He becomes obsessed with seducing Merlin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chaste

Arthur Pendragon strode into his office at Pendragon Limited like it was a battlefield, speaking tersely into his cell phone. “No, when I said the offer expired at noon today, I meant it. You missed the deadline, you’re out of luck.” He punched off without saying goodbye. He turned to the man walking at his right hand, just behind him, and said, “Jesus, Leon, do you believe these...” 

He stopped mid-sentence and frowned. Sitting at the secretary’s desk outside his office was a skinny kid who was most definitely not Ms. Emrys, his excellent and unflappable administrative assistant.

“Do I know you?” he said coolly.

The kid stood up and awkwardly offered his hand, saying, “I’m Merlin,” as if that explained anything.

Arthur ignored the outstretched hand. “So I don’t know you.”

The kid turned red, the blush rising from his cheeks to his unfortunate ears. Arthur gave him a cursory examination. He was tall, gangly, and looked like he didn’t get enough to eat. He had a mop of messy dark hair, bright blue eyes, and killer cheekbones. (Arthur had to admit, he had a bit of a thing for cheekbones.) Arthur estimated his age at fifteen, tops. 

The boy’s fashion sense was abysmal. He was wearing jeans that were cut all wrong for his body and so big that they looked like they were about to slide right off his slender hips, and a hoodie in a muddy green color that did nothing for his pale complexion. Unbidden, a thought came to Arthur. _I’d like to see him in blue. Or Pendragon red, the color of our logo background._

Arthur shook his head almost imperceptibly, thinking, _“Where the hell did that come from?”_ He focused on the problem in front of him. “Why are you here, Merlin?”

Merlin started stammering. “My mom, Hunith Emrys? She said I could come here a couple of times a week to observe for a project I’m writing to try to get into a summer journalism program at Princeton? She said she asked you?” He was all but wringing his hands, and a small, mean part of Arthur was enjoying his discomfiture. The poor kid was so nervous, he was twisting a ring he wore on the third finger of his left hand. _Odd for him to have a ring on that finger, I kind of doubt he’s married,_ Arthur thought.

He was about to deny any knowledge of such an agreement, but suddenly he remembered a conversation, several weeks before. Hunith had come to him to ask for a rare favor, a chance for her only child to observe and learn about the workings of an elite private banking operation. He had hidden his lack of enthusiasm for her request behind a polite facade, asking the right questions but thinking of other matters.

Arthur was bored by teenagers, and the idea of having one underfoot in his well-run office was unpleasant. And really, he had scarcely been aware that Hunith had a child, although he supposed she must have mentioned it at some point. But he needed to keep Hunith happy; his orderly work life was due in no small part to her intelligence and skill. So he had agreed to her request that her son be allowed to come to the office after school and observe twice a week for eight weeks. He had even agreed to let the young man interview him at some point.

Merlin had apparently run out of steam, and was looking at him hopefully. Arthur remembered what Hunith had said, “He’s a good boy, Arthur. Eager to learn. He won’t be any trouble, I promise.”

Arthur sighed, and said, “Welcome to Pendragon Limited.” But inside he was thinking, _Kill me now._

*****

Arthur woke up the next morning relaxed and sated, and without his usual morning wood. He was puzzled by that, and by why he felt so good, and he reached between his legs idly, only to have his hand come away wet and sticky.

He jolted awake. _A wet dream? At thirty-six? Unbelievable!_

He tried to think what could possibly have caused this. Since he and Sophia had divorced two years ago, he hadn’t lacked for sex, although sometimes it was easier to just rely on his own hand rather than wake up next to a stranger and do that awkward “it was great but we both know we’re never going to see each other again” thing. He’d long ago accepted that he appreciated and reacted to physical beauty in both males and females, and when he went out on the prowl he picked up whoever struck his fancy that night.

He’d picked up a woman in a bar just a week ago, in fact, and they’d had rather spectacular sex. So there didn’t seem to be any reason for the wet dream, he hadn’t seen anything that particularly turned him on, in fact his day had been totally routine except for meeting Hunith’s kid. 

Oh no, he thought as he stalked into his bathroom and turned on the shower. _Not going there._

*****

Merlin showed up on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons, hanging out with Hunith outside Arthur’s office, and for the first two weeks Arthur did his best to ignore him. He didn’t much care for kids in general, and there was something about this kid in particular that made him feel antsy, like his skin didn’t fit right. Merlin would smile shyly at him when they ran into each other, but Arthur made no effort to get to know him.

But even though he tried to push thoughts of Merlin away, Merlin kept cropping up in his consciousness. Partly because he surreptitiously studied him as he walked past him, partly because other people kept talking about him.

It seemed like Merlin had charmed the socks off everyone he came in contact with, from the young woman who came in to tend the plants to the crotchety old head of the Legal Department, Gaius Wilson. Even Arthur’s best friend, Lance, who ran the HR Department, couldn’t shut up about Merlin.

He and Lance usually had lunch together on days when Arthur didn’t have a business lunch with a client, and Lance was one of the few people in the world that Arthur genuinely trusted. Over sandwiches in Arthur’s office, Lance was going on and on about Merlin, what a great kid he was, how smart he was, how curious and enthusiastic he was.

Arthur shrugged. “So he’s running all over the building getting into everyone’s business? Sounds to me like he’s desperate for attention.”

Lance gave him a disappointed look. “That’s not fair. He’s supposed to be learning the ins and outs of the company, that’s the purpose of his internship. And he’s naturally friendly. He’ll do anything anyone asks him to do, and let’s not forget he isn’t getting paid.”

“Yeah, well, providing free child care isn’t making us any money either.”

Lance pushed his plate away and rose from the round conference table overlooking the window wall in Arthur’s office. “I need to get back.” Arthur could sense his disappointment.

Lance turned when he reached the door. “You know, Arthur, Gwen and I worry about you. Ever since you found out Sophia was cheating on you, you’ve been cold and withdrawn. It wouldn’t kill you to act like a person for once and be nice to this kid.”

Arthur waved him away. “Your advice is duly noted.”

Lance let the door slam on his way out.

*****

Merlin came to him, hesitantly, but also with that way he had of believing that the world was a good place and that everyone was well-intentioned toward him. He was like an eager puppy, not afraid of being rebuffed.

Arthur looked at him, awkward and elegant at the same time, a hint of stubble on his chin and dark lashes sweeping down over his eyes. He was just a little shorter than Arthur, in another six months he would be just a little taller. _Fifteen years old. Jesus Christ._

“I was wondering if it might be convenient for me to interview you this week, for my project,” Merlin began, and Arthur let the words slip past him and just focused on the sound, the voice that was soft and boyish but still had a man’s timbre. Arthur zoned out for a moment, giving way to a feeling of familiarity and comfort the voice induced in him, and only tuned in again when Merlin faltered mid-sentence.

“Mr. Pendragon?” Merlin said. “Is this a bad time for you? I didn’t mean to interrupt you, I can come back later.”

Arthur came back to reality reluctantly. “No, it’s alright, Merlin. It’s fine for you to ask me. But I’m afraid the next week or so is very busy for me, I have a shareholders meeting to prepare for, lots of reports to draft or review. I’m going to have to put you off a while longer.”

Merlin accepted this, with his trademark goofy smile, and left his office.

Once the door closed behind him, Arthur let his head fall back against his desk chair with a soft _thunk._ He knew he could have found a spare hour to give to Merlin, if he had wanted to find it. _The truth is, I’m afraid to be alone with him for an hour._

*****

Arthur fully intended to keep Merlin, and the temptation he presented, at arm’s length. He half wondered if he was going crazy sometimes. If he saw Merlin walking rapidly down a hallway, all long legs and coltish grace, he felt a powerful wave of what felt like nostalgia sweep through him. If Merlin gave him a shy smile, he got half hard. It was almost as if he were fifteen again, like Merlin.

He could jerk off in his shower, thinking about touching Merlin’s smooth skin. He could moan Merlin’s name as he pleasured himself between his expensive sheets. But in the cold light of day, he knew that succumbing to his hunger for Merlin could lose him everything- his career, his position in the world, his friendships. Not to mention his liberty. Having sex with a fifteen year old was statutory rape. He could go to prison even if the boy consented. It didn’t bear thinking about.

But never being able to touch Merlin also didn’t bear thinking about.

*****

After jerking off thinking about Merlin every night for ten days, Arthur decided to see if having a go with another man younger than him would help. He wasn’t sleeping well, thinking about Merlin all the time, berating himself for his obsession with someone who had barely reached adolescence.

So one night he put on his favorite jeans and a black silk shirt and went to a gay-friendly club he frequented occasionally.

Within ten minutes, he was buying a drink for a twink with blue eyes and dark hair, and within twenty minutes the twink was offering to blow him in the men’s room. 

But a blow job wouldn’t do it for him, he knew that. He needed to fuck a skinny little bottom and see if that would slake his lust for Hunith’s son. So he said instead, “Let’s get out of here.”

*****

“I have roommates, can we go to your place?” his score asked.

But Arthur had no intention of letting this stranger see where he lived. He wanted to use his body, not invite him into his life. So they walked to a decent hotel near the bar, and Arthur paid for a room.

He got the guy on his hands and knees, and went about the business of fucking him in a mechanical way. But it was all wrong. The man’s skin was too coarse, it didn’t have the luminescent quality that Merlin’s had. His ears were too flat. His hair wasn’t as soft as Arthur imagined Merlin’s was, and the coy, practiced smile he threw over his shoulder at Arthur almost made Arthur decide to pull out without coming. Arthur wanted a real smile, and real passion, not a cheap imitation.

He reached around and jerked the guy to orgasm as he pummeled into him. He was a Pendragon, after all, and things started had to be finished, and finished competently. But when he came, he bit off an “Mmm” sound, and he had a flash of clear blue eyes looking at him with love and trust.

He wiped his cum-sticky hand on the twink’s backside, feeling sick.

As soon as his breathing got back to normal, he got dressed and left. It hadn’t helped at all.  
*****

Arthur felt guilty about his sexual fantasies about Merlin, but he didn’t seem to have the discipline to send his mind in other directions. He thought about Merlin all the time.

He started observing Merlin, noting what kind of soda he drank at his desk, who he hung out with at the office, the title of the paperback book he could see in Merlin’s unzipped back pack. He started talking to him for a few minutes each day, leaning against Hunith’s desk casually, never getting too close. He didn’t want to startle Merlin.

Arthur was a bright man, and he knew a lot about strategy and tactics from the countless business deals he’d brokered. He’d never put himself to the task of charming a teenager before, but really, it was easy to make Merlin like him. The boy seemed to have a sweet and loving disposition, and wanted to like the world and the people in it. 

Sometimes, when he was eating dinner alone in his empty townhouse, he let himself think about what it would take to seduce a fifteen year old. Probably not that much. A big screen TV, a steady supply of pizza and Cheetos, some focused attention. Every fifteen year old guy wanted desperately for someone but himself to touch his dick, and Arthur knew it wouldn’t be hard to crack his defenses. 

Arthur felt like a creep for indulging in these thoughts. But he didn’t stop.

One day Arthur overheard Merlin talking animatedly to one of the junior clerks about video games, and he joined the conversation.

“What’s your favorite game?” he asked Merlin, low key.

“Crysis 2, “ Merlin answered, without hesitation. “Hands down. It’s awesome!”

“That’s my favorite, too,” Arthur said, smiling.

That night at home, he logged into Amazon and ordered an XBox360 along with a handful of games. He made sure he included Crysis 2.

*****

Arthur kept having dreams about Merlin, and the snippets he remembered were very strange. Sometimes Merlin was the kid in the hoodie and trainers who hung out in his office. But sometimes he seemed older, in his twenties maybe. And he was dressed oddly, in baggy tunic- like shirts and a triangular scarf of some sort.

One morning he woke up with a vivid memory of riding on horseback with Merlin, racing through a forest. Merlin managed to pull ahead of him, looking back at him and laughing. He could feel the horse underneath him, surging with energy. He could see the blurred green as the trees rushed past. He could hear the thunder of hoof beats.

He could feel the love. 

He almost wept with disappointment as the dream faded.

*****

Hunith had a family emergency; she came to Arthur and asked if she could take a few days off to care for her sister after an unexpected surgery.

Pendragon Limited had generous sick time policies, and Hunith had plenty of days banked. It was inconvenient for him, but he tried to be a fair and generous employer, and she was entitled to take the time off as family sick time.

“Of course, Hunith,” he said smoothly. “No need to rush back; please take as long as your sister needs you.”

She thanked him, and assured him that the person coming in from another department to sub for her was a good worker. Arthur knew the conversation was over, but he couldn’t resist asking, in a studiedly casual tone, “Will Merlin be going with you?”

“Oh, no, Mr. Pendragon. He can’t miss school, and he’ll be fine on his own for a day or two. My neighbor always checks on him when I have to be away. And he loves coming here so, he’s very enthusiastic about what he’s learning. I hate to take him away when he’s only here two afternoons a week.”

Arthur gave her a practiced smile, the one he used to charm new clients. “I tell you what, Hunith, why don’t you tell Merlin to come in every afternoon while you’re away? He can come here straight from school, and that way you’ll know he’s around adults until six in the evening, anyway.”

“Thank you, sir. I’ll tell him.” She hesitated, and said almost shyly, “It’s always been just me and Merlin, his father left before he was born. It’s been nice for him to be around you and Mr. DuLac and some of the other men around here. I worry sometimes that he hasn’t had enough good male role models.”

Arthur could see he love for her child lighting up her face, and he said something gracious and neutral. He felt a stab of guilt. _She wouldn’t be so grateful if she knew some of the things I’ve fantasized about doing to her Merlin._

*****

Merlin turned up at the office the first day his mother was gone, and Arthur could have sworn that he sensed it when he entered the suite and went to the computer desk he normally worked at, in the corner of the office away from Hunith’s large desk. But maybe it was just that Merlin ordinarily made a lot of noise when entering any room.

Arthur had left the door between his office and Hunith’s open, and he came out to ask Hunith’s replacement something about a portfolio he was working on. He knew he was only doing it so he could see Merlin; ordinarily he would have just buzzed her into his office to ask his question, or sent an email. He marveled at his lack of shame.

As he walked by Merlin, he saw the soft black curls just above the knob at the base of his neck, and his fingers twitched to touch the pale skin beneath the curls. He had never actually touched Merlin, and he now regretted not taking Merlin’s hand when the friendly, guileless child had offered it to him that first day.

Merlin looked up and said, “Hey, Mr. Pendragon,” but his smile was at about half of its usual wattage. _Probably missing his mom, and worried about his aunt,_ Arthur mused.

“Hey, Merlin,” Arthur said casually. “So, your mom left this morning?”

“Yeah,” Merlin said, ducking his head. “Left me with a list of rules and warnings about a mile long, too.”

“Moms are like that,” Arthur agreed, man to man, although he had no basis for saying that. His own mother had died giving birth to him.

Merlin admitted shyly, “It’s quiet when she’s not there. Kind of lonely.”

Arthur studied Merlin’s long fingers as he fiddled with the keyboard. He’d been wanting to ask him about the unusual ring he wore. It seemed to be two interlocking rings, one silver and one black, with words written on each ring.

“I’ve noticed your ring, Merlin. Is it a class ring, or something?”

Merlin’s pale cheeks turned pink. “It’s a purity ring. It says, _‘true love will wait.’_ It means I’ve promised to be chaste, to not have sex outside of marriage.”

Arthur smiled, and said gently, “An admirable goal.” But as he turned away from the boy who had seemingly bewitched him, he thought, _Fuck that._

*****

Arthur had gotten in the habit of leaving his office door open when Merlin was around, and that evening Merlin stopped in before he left.

“Is there anything you need me to do before I leave, Mr. Pendragon?” 

Arthur was so tempted to invite him in, to sit him down on the long leather couch in the corner and chat with him, gain more ground with him. But he knew it was a risk he couldn’t afford to take.

Merlin was lingering uncomfortably by the door, and Arthur knew that he wanted him to invite him to dinner, or to entertain him so he would be less lonely while his mother was away. But Arthur wasn’t ready to take that leap. He had to retain some semblance of normalcy in a world turned upside down, and to try to keep control. The predatory part of his brain, the part that wanted to throw Merlin down and fuck him over the arm of the couch, seemed to be taking over. But Arthur was strong-willed, and he wasn’t going to give in.

It was too soon. He hadn’t earned Merlin’s trust yet.

So he kept his face neutral, and said, “Time to be getting home, Merlin. You must have homework to do, and you have to get up early for school. Do you have a ride?”

“Lance said he’d drive me, he says it’s on his way.”

Arthur knew full well that Lance lived nowhere near the Emrys home, but he kept quiet. Lance was a knight in shining armor, that was just who he was. Of course he’d take a lonely kid home, even though it was the opposite direction from the little house he and Gwen were fixing up. 

“Okay, good, that’s kind of him,” Arthur replied. 

“Yeah, he’s a great guy,” Merlin gushed. “He said he’d maybe take me to his fencing club this weekend, give me some lessons.”

Arthur fought back a wave of irritation. _Merlin was hopeless with a sword, everyone knew that. What was Lance thinking, putting Merlin in the same space as a sharp metal object?_

And then it hit him, _I’m doing it again._

“Mr. Pendragon, you don’t look so good. Are you okay? Should I call someone?” Merlin looked very concerned.

Arthur took a deep, calming breath, and offered the boy a reassuring smile. “I’m fine, Merlin. Just a little tired.”

Arthur prided himself on the fact that he was a very good liar. 

He said, “Well, perhaps you’d better go down to his office, be on your way?”

He saw a flash of hurt in Merlin’s eyes, and thought, _He thinks I’m trying to get rid of him._ And in a sense he was. Being around Merlin wasn’t safe right now, for either of them. He fully intended to win Merlin’s body, but he had to win his heart first. 

But he put aside his self-absorption for a moment, and really considered Merlin. _He’s lonely, he’s going home to an empty house, he’s probably starving. And he wants some sign of interest or concern from you._

He took out his wallet and counted out some crisp bills, setting them on the desk and beckoning Merlin over. “Tell you what, Merlin. Here’s some cash. You can call in an order to your favorite pizza place from Lance’s car, and then it will be there shortly after you get home. You can eat and relax for a little while, and then do your homework.”

Merlin flushed, “You don’t have to, I have money.”

“I never said you didn’t. But everyone says you’ve been a big help around here, and you aren’t getting paid, so let me treat you this once, okay?” Arthur’s voice was soft and coaxing.

“Okay, thanks,” Merlin said, still somewhat hesitant. He came closer to get the money, and Arthur added, “Give me your cell and I’ll put my number in it. You can call me before you go to bed, tell me how the evening went.”

Merlin’s long black eyelashes swept seductively down, and then he gave Arthur a grateful look. “I’d like that,” he said simply.

He handed Arthur the phone, and Arthur programmed in his private number. As Arthur handed it back with the cash, their fingers brushed. 

Arthur felt a warm glow from the tiny contact, a sense of peace and rightness. He watched Merlin leave, and thought, _God help me, it’s bad enough that I want to fuck him. But now I’m falling in love with him, too. ___

____

*****

Arthur went home and watched the financial news while he ate dinner. His housekeeper kept his fridge stocked with things like pre-made salads and fruit, and he chose some things at random, intent on his plans for the evening.

He had three hours before Merlin was going to call him, and a number of things to do.

When he was done eating, he got out his laptop, and logged into the Pendragon Limited Personnel files. He pulled up Hunith Emrys’s file, and saw that her health insurance listed one dependent, Merlin Emrys, age fifteen. With a date of birth of May 1, 1995. So Merlin would be sixteen on May 1, about five weeks away.

He closed out that window, and Googled “legal age of consent” for his state. He had to do his own research, since this wasn’t exactly a question he could ask his in-house lawyers. He learned that it was sixteen.

Something about the May 1 date was bothering him, and he knew it wasn’t that it was May Day. A strange word came into his head, one that he hadn’t known he knew. Beltane.

A bit more research, and he learned that Beltane was the festival that celebrates the fertility of spring and the greening of the earth. It made sense that a fey, otherworldly creature like Merlin would have been born on Beltane.

_Five weeks. In five weeks he could make love to Merlin without it being a crime._

He checked the time again, wanting to know how long before Merlin might call. Then he started up the XBox, and played Crysis 2 for a couple of hours. He had told Merlin it was his favorite game, and he had to be good at it before he played with Merlin.

_Merlin was a bright kid, and it wouldn’t do to get caught in a lie._

*****

When he got tired of the video game, he leaned back in his chair, resting his arm across his chest, phone in his hand. He hadn't been sleeping well, and he just wanted to rest his eyes before he talked to Merlin.

_He arrived at the Beltane feast after the dancing had already started, and looked around for his lover. He saw Leon watching him, and grinned as Leon jerked his head toward the dancers. He passed his friend, saying in a low voice, “Am I that obvious?”_

_Leon said, straight-faced, “You’re a laughing-stock from the cellars to the attics, Sire. No one has ever seen a man more besotted.” Arthur responded to this witticism by giving him a friendly punch on the shoulder, and resolved that Leon would regret his smart mouth in training the next day._

_He saw Merlin dancing with one of the girls from the lower town, the two of them smiling into each other’s eyes. That was enough of that._

_He took a flower wreath from a group of ten year old girls who were weaving them in a circle in the grass, their bright-colored skirts pooled around them. He tossed them some coins and laughed at their squeals of joy._

_He pulled Merlin out of the circle of dancers, and led him into the woods. Merlin came easily, or at least as easily as he ever did, looking back at his disappointed partner with a wave and a “Thank you for the dance, Ellyn.”_

_He looked exquisite as Arthur pressed him down into the grass, naked except for the crown of spring blossoms on his head. “Arthur,” he moaned._

_“I love you, Merlin,” Arthur breathed into Merlin’s mouth. “Only you, forever.”_

Arthur’s phone chimed, startling him awake.

*****

Arthur took a deep breath and answered the phone. “Pendragon.”

“Mr. Pendragon, it’s me,” Merlin said.

_Yes, it’s you. Always you._

“Hello, Merlin,” Arthur said, smiling into the phone with sheer pleasure at talking to Merlin. Keep it low key, he warned himself. “How was your evening? Get your homework done?”

“Yes, I did,” Merlin answered. “And thank you for the pizza, sir.”

_So polite! And still so young that he wants to please adults._

“You’re welcome, I hope you enjoyed it.”

They talked for about twenty minutes, and Arthur managed to get out of Merlin what he liked on his pizza, what his favorite class was, and the details of the summer program he wanted to attend. The part of him that had been sane before he met Merlin felt some guilt about how easy it was to make Merlin confide in him, but the part of him that wanted to have Merlin for breakfast just plain didn’t care.

The only unsettling moment came when Arthur asked Merlin about why he was interested in going to the fencing club with Lance. There was a long enough pause that Arthur said “Merlin, you can tell me,” in a firm voice. Reluctantly, Merlin admitted his reason. With a sad note in his voice, he said, “I’m having a little problem at school, some of the jocks are picking on me, and I thought maybe if I learned a little fencing, I’d seem more cool, and they’d leave me alone.”

“Give me a list of their names, and by the time I’m through with them they’ll never bother you again.”

There was a long pause, and Arthur thought frantically, _Did I say that out loud? Jesus Christ, tell me I didn’t say that out loud._

“Mr. Pendragon?” Merlin said in a small voice. “Are you still there?”

Arthur let out a huge sigh of relief. He hadn’t actually given voice to his desire to eviscerate the punks who were daring to bother Merlin. With a grapefruit spoon.

He said, “Well, that’s a plan, Merlin, although fencing isn’t easy to learn. It takes a lot of discipline. Probably if you want to pursue it, you should do it for love of the sport, rather than to impress someone else.”

Merlin considered that, and said, “You’re right. But Lance said he’d show me some of the basics, he says I have a good body for a fencer. I bet he’s really good at it, I saw some trophies in his office. And it was so nice of him to give up part of his Saturday for me.”

Arthur was bristling at the idea of Lance checking out Merlin’s body, even though he knew Lance was straight as the proverbial arrow. And he didn’t like the hint of hero worship he heard in Merlin’s voice. 

“Lance is very good, we fenced together from the time we were your age. We were on fencing teams together in high school, and at our college.”

Merlin sounded awed. “Really? I didn’t know you fenced. Cool! Who is better, you or Lance?”

“I am,” Arthur said, with absolute certainty.

“I’d love to see you fence, someday, too.”

“Maybe one day Lance and I can give you a demonstration. But for now, it’s late, and you should get to bed.”

“Okay, goodnight. See you tomorrow?”

“Yes, you’ll see me tomorrow. Goodnight, Merlin.”

Merlin added shyly, “It helped, knowing I was going to call you. Made it less lonesome.”

Arthur rang off, satisfied with the conversation. The boy liked him. That would do, for now.

He set the phone on the table next to him and leaned back in his chair, reaching for the erection he’d had since he’d first heard Merlin’s voice. He jerked off right there, too hot and bothered to go to the bedroom.

*****

The next day, Merlin arrived after school as he usually did, eager and loud. He looked a bit bedraggled, in another over-sized hoodie and ratty jeans, and dumped his backpack on the floor next to the computer desk.

Hunith’s substitute had left for a doctor’s appointment at 3 o’clock, and the two of them were alone in the suite. Arthur tried hard not to think about that, or the fact that his office door could be locked from the inside.

Merlin came to Arthur’s doorway as he always did, saying, “Hi,” with a big grin.

Arthur tried to shake off the feeling that he had seen that grin a thousand times before. “Hi, yourself,” he answered. “How was school?”

“It was good. Listen, one of the IT guys is formatting a new computer and he said I could help him. Is that okay with you?”

Arthur couldn’t help but smile. Pendragon Limited had almost two hundred employees, and it seemed like Merlin had made friends with each and every one of them. “Sure, go ahead,” he answered. Merlin was still standing in the doorway, twitching a bit. Arthur raised an eyebrow. “Was there something else?”

Merlin answered in a rush. “You know what I said last night, about the guys from the football team hassling me? You won’t say anything to my mom, will you? I don’t want her to worry, and it isn’t that bad, really. Please, could you not say anything to her?” Merlin’s beautiful blue eyes were pleading.

Arthur considered this. Ordinarily, he would tell a high school student in a similar situation to talk to his parents. But Merlin only had one parent, and it was obviously important to him to protect her from this knowledge. Probably there wasn’t much she could do about it in any case.

And he wasn’t exactly in a position to counsel Merlin to tell his mother everything.

So he said, “I’ll make you a deal. I won’t say anything to Hunith, but only if you promise to come to me if there are any more incidents of bullying.”

Merlin argued with him. “It isn’t bullying, it’s just a bit of teasing, I’m sure they don’t mean anything by it...”

Arthur held up a hand to silence him. “Merlin. It’s bullying. Last night you said, ‘they’re picking on me.’ I don’t want to hear that it’s nothing. Now, do we have an agreement?” His tone was stern.

“Yes, sir,” Merlin said. “I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”

_Such a good boy. He wants someone to check in with._

As Merlin turned to leave, Arthur said, “One more thing. Don’t you have a coat? It’s too cold for just a sweatshirt.”

Merlin rolled his eyes. “Yes, I have a coat. I didn’t think I’d need it today, I mean it’s March and everything. I forgot to check the weather. I’m fine.”

“Well, try to remember it next time. Your mother will have my head if you get pneumonia while she’s away.”

Merlin gave him a little mocking bow and took himself off.

It was a good fifteen minutes before Arthur was able to concentrate on work again.

*****

Arthur tried to think about the work in front of him, and not about Merlin and what he was doing. It was a Friday afternoon, and while he came into the office most Saturdays, he felt disinclined to do it the next day. So he applied the discipline he’d learned during the years his father had groomed him to take over Pendragon Limited, and plowed through all the tasks he’d set for himself.

He hadn’t heard from Hunith about when she’d be returning, and he made a mental note to ask Merlin how his aunt was doing. It was important to him to know exactly how long Merlin would be alone at home, for reasons he wasn’t planning on sharing with either member of the Emrys family.

Merlin stopped back into the office to pick up his backpack, with a cheerful wave and a “Have a great weekend, Mr. Pendragon.”

_Well, no, Merlin, I’m not going to have a great weekend, I’m going to spend it obsessing about you and jerking off until I’m sore._

“You, too,” he said casually, and added, “How are you getting home?”

“I have a ride, gotta run,” Merlin said, leaving the office in a flash of long legs and with his smile seeming to hang in the air like the Cheshire Cat’s.

Once Merlin was gone, Arthur realized that he hadn’t had time to inquire about when Hunith was returning. He packed up his briefcase, wondering if it would be pushing it to call Merlin and ask.

He had just talked to Merlin the night before, and he couldn’t afford to look too interested. He sighed as he pondered this, eventually deciding to call Hunith directly in the morning and get the information he needed. 

He took the elevator down to his parking space deep in the bowels of the building, and drove up to the city streets. A storm had come up while he was finishing his work, and he turned on his headlights and his windshield wipers to deal with the rain sluicing down in gray sheets.

When he was three blocks from the building, he glanced idly at a bus stop to his right. No one there but a tall skinny guy in jeans and a hooded sweatshirt. He was folded into himself because of the cold, and his hood was up, but Arthur would recognize that body anywhere.

“Shit,” he said, making a right turn to go around the block. He pulled up next to the bus station and lowered the passenger side window, saying loudly, “Merlin!”

Merlin jumped about a foot. Arthur sighed. _How many times had he told him to pay attention to his surroundings, to look around for danger instead of lollygagging? Oh wait; they hadn’t had that conversation yet...._

He came to the window, and Arthur said, “Get in.” Merlin shook his head, saying, “The bus will be here soon, I’m fine.”

A crack of thunder came, and Arthur said imperiously, “Just get in the damn car, Merlin.”

Merlin got in the damn car.

*****

He’d awakened that morning with a raging hard-on and a profound sense of loss. He gathered the threads of the dream, if that’s what it had been, not wanting to let go of the feelings it evoked.

He and Merlin had been arguing, and both of them were yelling. Didn’t Merlin know that he could be whipped for raising his voice to the prince?

Arthur’s temper was fraying. If Arthur decided to leave Merlin behind while he led a small force into a potentially dangerous situation at the Eastern borders of Camelot, Merlin should say, “Yes, sire” and submit to his lord’s judgment.

Unfortunately, Merlin had never learned the meaning of the word, “submit.”

Arthur finally became so angry that he snapped, “On your knees, now!” and pushed him to the ground with a strong hand on his shoulder. Merlin went, too surprised to put up a fuss. 

Arthur had a policy of not hitting Merlin, no matter the provocation. He’d slapped him in the face once, under an enchantment from one of the pretty ladies who seemed to come to Camelot once a week to try to murder him or marry him, or both. And he’d regretted that slap ever since. But Merlin’s stubbornness could make a statue weep, and Arthur needed some time to calm down.

He looked down at Merlin, kneeling on the stone floor and glaring up at him. “Keep your back straight and your mouth shut while I decide what to do about you.”

For once in his life, Merlin obeyed. Arthur threw himself into his chair and spent the next ten minutes sharpening his dagger and recovering his temper. By supreme effort of will, he didn’t look at Merlin once during that time.

When the dagger was sharpened to his satisfaction, and a quick glance around his chambers had ensured that there was nothing that needed killing at present, he turned to the problem of his wayward manservant.

He walked over to Merlin and loomed over him, frowning. Merlin, apparently unimpressed by the looming, looked up at him with defiance in his eyes and a petulant set to his mouth. Not that Arthur looked at Merlin’s mouth often enough to catalogue its expressions, or anything remotely like that.

Arthur sighed, and clenched his right hand into a fist. He ran the knuckles softly over Merlin’s cheekbone, saying, “What am I going to do with you?”

Merlin didn’t pull away from the caress, but he lowered his eyes, protecting his thoughts from Arthur’s observation.

Arthur dropped to his knees in front of him, their bodies inches apart and mirroring each other. He said, “Merlin, look at me.” Merlin did, and Arthur held his gaze as he said, “You and I could get along a lot better than we do.”

Afterward, they were never sure who had moved first, or if they reached for each other at the same time. But however it happened, Merlin found himself flat on his back with Arthur’s tongue down his throat and a hand down the front of his trousers. Arthur’s other hand was around the back of his head, cradling it to protect it from the hard stone floor.

As first kisses went, it was more than satisfactory.

When Arthur was really awake, slugging down coffee to try to get his hands to stop shaking, he wondered if he had some sort of strange neurological disorder that was causing such vivid dreams. Maybe he should see his doctor.

He decided against it. He didn’t want to be cured of these dreams.

*****

Merlin threw his back pack over the seat into the back, and fumbled his seat belt on. He was soaking wet and shivering as he apologized for getting the car wet.

“Forget the car, Merlin, I’m more concerned about you. What were you thinking, standing there in the rain?”

“I was thinking I was going to catch a bus to go home,” Merlin said, exasperated.

“Hold on,” Arthur said. He undid his seat belt and opened the door, going around to the trunk as Merlin protested, “Mr. Pendragon, you’ll get wet...”

He had a gym bag in the trunk, and he found the towel he kept in it. Once back in the driver’s seat, he threw it at Merlin, and Merlin scrubbed at his face with it. The sight of Merlin’s hands against the white towel gave Arthur a flash of deja vu so intense he nearly gasped.

“Thanks,” Merlin said.

Arthur frowned at him. “You told me you had a ride.”

Merlin said sulkily, “A bus is a ride.” He sounded like a typical teenager, from what Arthur could remember.

Arthur gave him a level look. “Don’t tell me things that aren’t true, Merlin. It makes me very unhappy when you lie to me.”

Merlin let out a breath and said, “I’m sorry. I just didn’t want to be a bother. I use the buses all the time, but today they were off schedule.” He shivered again.

Arthur pulled the car into the street again, turning off the flashers and checking carefully before he reentered traffic. He was thinking hard.

At the next traffic light, he reached over and flipped on the seat heater for the passenger side. Merlin had the towel twisted in his hands. Arthur said carefully, “You’re soaked through. And my place is much closer than yours. Maybe we should go there, get you warm and dried off. I can take you back home later tonight.”

Merlin gave him a dazzling smile. “Thank you, Mr. Pendragon.”

Arthur touched Merlin on the shoulder, feather-light. “You can call me Arthur.”

*****

In spite of Arthur turning up the heat in the car, Merlin’s teeth were chattering by the time they got to Arthur’s building and pulled into the underground garage.

Arthur picked up Merlin’s back pack and slung it over one shoulder, over Merlin’s protests. “Come on,” he said firmly, taking Merlin by one elbow and hustling him into the elevator. Once they reached his floor, he made short work of unlocking the door to his apartment and dragging Merlin inside.

Merlin looked around, awe-struck. 

“This is really something, Mr. ...I mean, Arthur,” he said, still shaking. He was looking around at the high ceilings and the sleek glass and chrome tables.

Arthur shrugged. “My ex did the decorating. But we can talk about it later, right now you need to get out of those wet clothes.”

He walked down the hall to run a shower for Merlin, leaving Merlin standing in his living room, dripping and shivering. He debated with himself as he walked about which bathroom Merlin should use.

The one in the master bedroom was bigger and more luxurious than the one off the hallway, which was usually used for the guest room. He wasn’t above wanting to impress Merlin with material things, showing him that he was successful and a good provider. And he liked the idea of Merlin in his shower; he could think about that when he was using it.

But he quickly decided that was a bad idea. Merlin was observant, and if he spent much time here it would be clear to him that there was a guest room. Arthur didn’t want him wondering why he hadn’t just used the other bathroom.

So he turned on the shower in the smaller bathroom, and pulled out some towels and set them on the counter. He checked to make sure that there was shampoo and shower gel in the stall, and as the room started steaming up, he yelled “Mer-linn!” _Why was that boy never where he was supposed to be?_

Merlin shuffled into the room, his arms hugged across his chest. He looked like a half-drowned kitten, his dark hair plastered to his forehead and his eyes big and even bluer than usual against his parchment-white skin. His jeans and hoodie were clinging to his body, and Arthur thought, _Best to get out of here while you still can, Pendragon._

He said abruptly, “The shower will warm you up. Leave those clothes on the counter; I’ll get you some dry ones. We can run those through the dryer.”

Merlin nodded, and started pulling the soaked hoodie over his head. It was slow going, the wet fabric fighting him while his head was still buried in the body of the shirt, and Arthur instinctively reached out to help him. But he drew his hand back before he actually touched Merlin.

 _Clothes, right._ +

He rummaged through his drawers looking for something that would be warm and soft, and not too huge on Merlin. He found a pair of sweatpants with a drawstring waist, and an old, well-worn Arsenal sweatshirt, his favorite for lying around the house in. He added some socks, and was reaching for a pair of jockey shorts when he realized that his guest wouldn’t want to wear his underwear.

In that case, Merlin would just have to go commando.

He went back to the bathroom with the clothes, and knocked lightly before pushing the door open. The shower was still running, and he could see Merlin outlined through the sheer shower curtain.

He was washing his hair, his arms raised as his fingers worked his scalp, and he was half-turned into the spray. His slender body was clearly outlined, including the parts jutting out from his slender torso. Merlin wasn’t hard, but he had a handsome package all the same.

Arthur felt his heart skip a beat, quite literally.

He dropped the clothes on the counter, scooped up the wet ones from the floor, and fled.

*****

While Merlin was in the shower, Arthur put on a kettle and get out some tea bags. He figured Merlin would be hungry, so he started pulling sandwich ingredients from the fridge. He was reaching into the fridge for some lettuce (already washed and separated with paper towels, bless his housekeeper) when he sensed, rather than heard, Merlin coming in to the room. _I wonder how that works?_ he thought idly.

He’d had to learn to accept a number of strange things since Merlin came into his life, and he sometimes wondered why he was so calm about things that would have struck him as very peculiar only a few weeks before. He had dreams so vivid that he woke up laughing or with tears on his face, he had brief flashbacks to things that felt like memories but couldn’t possibly be, and he knew things that he hadn’t known he knew. And most importantly, he was desperately attracted to a skinny, underage youth.

He’d become sexually active at sixteen, twenty years ago. And in all those twenty years, he could not recall having a single sexual thought about children or adolescent boys. Even as a sixteen year old, he’d been attracted to older partners, both men and women. He’d always been repulsed by men who were attracted to young boys, even as he pitied them.

So where were these feelings about fucking Merlin’s underage little ass until he screamed coming from?

It was a puzzle. But at the moment, he had a fuzzy warm, good smelling, damp haired Merlin standing at his kitchen island and smiling shyly at him, so he said “turkey or ham or both?” and Merlin said “both” and they finished assembling the sandwiches in companionable silence.

There were two counter stools at the kitchen island, and Arthur set the sandwiches down and poured Merlin some tea, pushing the sugar bowl at him and saying, “Drink some tea, my nanny always used to say it cured everything.” He was feeling the need for something stronger, so he took a bottle of brandy out of the cupboard and poured a moderate amount into a snifter.

Merlin gave him a hopeful look. “Can I have some?”

“Have you ever had alcohol before?”

“Sure, lots of times...” Merlin said with false bravado, and Arthur laughed, tipping a scant ounce into the hot tea Merlin was sipping. “You’re a terrible liar, Merlin,” he observed.

Merlin ate his sandwich so fast that Arthur wondered if he had a tapeworm. He moved the bowl of fruit on the counter closer to Merlin, and said, “I could make you another sandwich if you want.”

“No, thanks,” Merlin said, choosing an apple and taking a big bite. Arthur averted his gaze for a moment, hoping Merlin didn’t notice his quickened breathing.

“So why did you have a nanny?” Merlin asked. “What kind of work does your mom do?”

Arthur answered him carefully. “My mother died shortly after delivering me.”

Merlin’s eyes widened in horror. “Oh, God, Arthur, I’m so sorry! That was really dumb of me to say that.” 

“It’s all right, Merlin. It’s a reasonable assumption, that someone my age would have a mother alive.”

“Well, that’s something we have in common. I don’t have a father.”

Merlin hunched his shoulders, the picture of misery. Arthur wanted to gather him in his arms and comfort him, but that wasn’t an option, at this point. So he flicked his index finger down Merlin’s cheek and said, “Hey, you can have mine.”

Merlin giggled. “No, thanks. I’ve heard the stories.” Uther Pendragon was a legend at Pendragon Limited, both for his business acumen and his temper.

*****

The giggling went on for a while, and Arthur began to wonder if the brandy had been a mistake. Surely Merlin couldn’t be that much of a lightweight? Although it was his first experience with alcohol, and it had apparently gone right to his head.

The brandy bottle was still sitting on the island, and Merlin reached for it in a way that he probably flattered himself was stealthy. Arthur pulled it away just before Merlin’s long fingers closed around the neck, and said firmly, “No way, clown.” 

He put the bottle back in the cupboard, and said, “Speaking of the ‘rents, probably time for you to call your mom. And try not to slur your words, okay?”

This set off another fit of giggling, but eventually Merlin straightened up and took out his cell. Arthur cleared away the plates and tried to look like he wasn’t listening in.

It sounded like Merlin got in a patch of trouble as he described waiting for the bus and Arthur picking him up, but eventually the repetition of “Mom, it’s fine, I’m fine, nothing bad happened” seemed to work, and he took the phone from his ear and said, “She wants to talk to you.”

Arthur dried his hands on a dishtowel and took the phone, saying, “Hello, Hunith.”

Hunith sounded chagrined. “Arthur, I’m so sorry. He has money for a cab, I don’t know why he didn’t have the sense to take one...” She trailed off, and Arthur spent the next five minutes convincing her that it hadn’t been any trouble to bring Merlin home with him. He added, “I’ve got his clothes in the dryer, so I’ll take him home in an hour or so.”

There was a silence on the other end of the line, and Arthur prodded, “Hunith, is that a problem?”

She said, “Oh, no, of course not. It’s just ...I hate to ask this, but is it still raining hard? I hate the thought of the two of you out in the car in bad weather, and... well, Merlin wouldn’t want me to tell you this, but he’s afraid of thunderstorms, has been since he was a little boy. If there’s a storm, I hate the thought of him alone in the house...”

Arthur was good at taking charge of things, and he went into command mode. “Hunith, it’s fine. I think you’re right. I have a guest room; he can spend the night here. And I think Lance is taking him to his fencing club tomorrow, I’ll just call and have him pick Merlin up here instead of at your house.”

It took a couple more minutes of reassurances that he didn’t mind, but he eventually convinced Hunith that it would be best all-around if Merlin stayed at his house.

After learning from her that her sister was doing well, but that she needed a bit more help than anticipated, Arthur said goodbye to her. They left her return open, and she said she’d call in the morning with an update and an idea of when she’d be back home.

He handed the phone back to Merlin so he could tell his mother goodnight, and once Merlin hung up he turned to Arthur with a pleased look on his face.

“I assume you heard all that?” Arthur asked.

Merlin nodded, and he did that thing he did where he looked at Arthur sideways through half-lowered lashes, a soft smile playing on his lips. That thing that went straight to Arthur’s dick.

Arthur ruffled Merlin’s hair. “Then it’s you and me tonight, brat.”

*****

Arthur took Merlin to the only room in the apartment that he really liked, the one that he had banned Sophia from bringing her team of decorators into to make it cold and sterile and perfect.

It was where he spent most of his time, and it had his giant-screen TV and some comfortable chairs and a couch. Plus the X-Box he’d bought with Merlin in mind, and enough electronic toys to make Merlin look wide eyed around the room. 

They played video games sitting cross-legged on the floor, and Merlin won, but not by much. Arthur figured he’d win the next time, as long as he could keep himself from being distracted by Merlin’s flashing eyes and whoops of joy when he scored in a tricky part of the game.

After ninety minutes had passed, Arthur said, “We’d better stop before your brains start leaking out of your ears.” And Merlin smiled at him, guileless, until he teasingly slipped the knife in. “You’re not too bad for an old guy.”

“Show some respect or the junk food doesn’t come out,” Arthur said serenely, and Merlin mimed zipping his lips.

They went back to the kitchen and piled a tray high with Oreos and Cheetos and cans of soda (Arthur’s housekeeper was too well-trained to have made a comment when these items suddenly showed up on his grocery list). Arthur set the tray on the coffee table in front of the couch and pointed at the cabinet where he kept his DVDs. “You can choose something, but I get veto power.”

After some negotiation, they settled on Tears of the Sun, and sat on opposite ends of the couch to watch it. Merlin was engrossed in it, and Arthur tried hard not to stare at him in wonder, this beautiful boy sitting four feet away from him, curled up on _his_ couch, wearing _his_ clothes.

The drumbeat of _“mine, mine, mine”_ filled his brain, soothing and disorienting at the same time.

When Bruce Willis was done kicking ass, Arthur clicked the TV screen to darkness. There was only one lamp lit in the room, and it felt warm and cozy, almost like a cave.

Arthur rose and stretched, and moved to take the ruin of the snack tray into the kitchen. Merlin trailed along behind him, and watched as Arthur tidied up. Merlin’s eyes on him made Arthur feel giddy, but he told himself, _Slow down, not now. For all you know, he’s straight._ As he considered that thought, he had one of what he had labeled as “micro-flashbacks.”

_Merlin was on his back, his legs over Arthur’s shoulders as Arthur fucked him. His eyes were closed, and just that tiny thing made Arthur jealous, that Merlin was not completely available to him. He didn’t want any part of Merlin hidden from him, not even his thoughts._

_He tightened his grip on Merlin’s knees, and stopped thrusting for a moment. He demanded, “Merlin. Look at me.”_

_Merlin opened his eyes, and gave him a filthy smile. “Harder,” he said._

Arthur nearly dropped the plate he was holding. He cast a glance at Merlin, and thought, _Not straight._

*****

It was close to midnight, and Merlin was yawning, so Arthur thought it was time to bring the evening to a close. And his proximity to Merlin, while it gave him a familiar warmth, had also left him half hard all night. He needed to go jerk off, relieve some of the desperate tension he was feeling.

He said, “I think I’m going to turn in.” Thinking it would be a good strategy to treat Merlin like an adult who could make his own decisions, he added, “You can stay up and use the computer or something, if you want. I sleep like a log, it won’t bother me.”

Merlin said, “No, I’m kind of tired.” A shy pause, and another one of those looks. “Where am I sleeping?”

Jesus! Sometime soon, Arthur would have to talk to Merlin about not offering things he didn’t intend to deliver. He didn’t mind, but it simply was not acceptable for Merlin to be flirting like that with every Tom, Dick and Lance.

Trying not to sound flustered, Arthur said, “In the guest room. I’ll show you.”

*****

He found Merlin a toothbrush still in its packaging, and showed him where the lights and extra blankets in the guest room were. He gestured vaguely toward Merlin and said, “Do you want some pajamas or something?”

“No, I’ll be fine,” Merlin answered, covering a yawn with his slender fingers.

“Okay. What time is Lance supposed to be picking you up for the fencing?”

“Eleven.”

“I’ll text him and tell him to pick you up here. I assume you have an alarm on your phone?”

“Yeah, I do,” Merlin answered, moving toward the bed.

“Goodnight, then, Merlin.”

“Goodnight.” 

When Arthur was close to the door, Merlin said, “Thank you for bringing me here. I had fun.” 

“It was my pleasure,” Arthur answered, smiling at the boy. He hoped he didn’t sound as wistful as he felt.

*****

The idea of Merlin between smooth sheets only a couple of dozen yards from him made Arthur want to jerk off now. He hadn’t bothered to have sex with anyone since his abortive attempt to forget Merlin with the dark-haired guy from the bar, but he compensated for it by pleasuring himself morning and night, Merlin’s name always on his lips as he came.

He stripped his clothes off as he walked to the bathroom, turning the shower on and brushing his teeth as the water warmed. Once inside the shower, he leaned against the wall and brought himself off fast and rough, tugging on his balls so that it almost hurt. The shower stall was double sized, and had a frosted glass door. There were a hundred delicious things he could do to Merlin in here, and he hoped someday they would try every one.

He fantasized about sitting on the bench that ran along wall with Merlin straddling his lap as he thrust up into him, his hands possessive on Merlin’s narrow ass as the lifted him up and down.

He bit on his fist as he came, trying to be quiet even though he knew the sound of the shower would mask any noises he made.

He pushed off the wall and finished showering, sending the evidence of his obsession down the drain with the suds from his designer-label shower gel.

*****

The sound of Merlin crying out in distress woke Arthur from a dreamless sleep. Thanking his lucky stars that he’d decided to sleep in pajama bottoms and a t-shirt rather than in the nude as was his habit, he rushed into the guest room, calling softly, “Merlin?”

The rain had returned with a vengeance, and as he entered the room there was a tremendous clap of thunder, followed by a vivid flash of lightning, so bright it momentarily lit up the room like daylight. 

Merlin’s slender form was outlined in the eerie light, his head back and his chest bare. He was flailing on the bed, and as Arthur came closer he heard him murmur, “Arthur,” and then say in a voice that sounded oddly cold and commanding, “You should not have killed my friend.”

Arthur’s legs collapsed under him. In his dreams, hallucinations, flashbacks, whatever the hell they were, he had heard that tone before from Merlin. The exact words were new to him, and he knew that he hadn’t been there when Merlin first uttered the words. But he knew what he was hearing.

_This is the voice Merlin uses when someone fucks with people he loves._

Arthur shivered at the intensity of his new knowledge. Maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t alone in this madness. Maybe Merlin heard the echoes of another life, too, if only in his dreams.

Merlin was crying out again, and Arthur pulled himself together. Merlin needed him.

He got to his feet and fumbled for the bedside lamp, clicking it until it hit the lowest setting. Then he reached for Merlin’s bare shoulder, shaking it and saying urgently, “Merlin, wake up.”

*****

It took a couple of tries, but eventually Merlin’s eyes fluttered open. Arthur immediately removed his hand, and said, “You were having a bad dream, sweet...” He bit off the last word, hoping Merlin wasn’t awake enough to notice that he’d almost called him "sweetheart". Merlin still looked confused, and Arthur repeated firmly, “You were having a nightmare. I heard you call out. Everything is fine.”

Merlin let out a shuddering breath, and Arthur moved back as Merlin threw the blankets back and sat on the edge of the bed. He was wearing the sweat pants, thank heaven for small favors, and he buried his face in his hands, obviously very upset.

Arthur placed a tentative hand on the center of Merlin’s back, and spread his fingers, trying to convey strength and reassurance. The skin beneath his hand was warm and soft, and Arthur rubbed Merlin’s back gently, saying, “Better now?”

Merlin shivered, and said sadly, “My mother thinks I’m afraid of thunderstorms.”

“There’s nothing to be ashamed of...”

Merlin looked at him with steadily, ready to share a truth. “She’s wrong.”

Arthur held his breath, not wanting to interrupt.

“I’m not afraid of the thunder, or the lightning, or any of it. I’m afraid of what it makes me feel, what I think of when I’m in a storm.”

“And what’s that?” Arthur breathed.

“The storm makes me feel powerful. Like I can call down the lightning. And I’m afraid of what I just might do with that power.”

They looked at each other, their faces only a few inches apart.

Arthur saw his Merlin, the graceful fifteen year old Eros who haunted his dreams. He saw another Merlin, older and darker and more complicated. And he saw a very young man who had just awoken from a bad dream and needed to be comforted and soothed back into sleep.

He looked around for the shirt Merlin had been wearing the night before, and found it at the foot of the bed. He thrust it at Merlin, saying roughly, “put this on, you’re shaking.”

Merlin complied, and looked at Arthur trustingly, waiting to be told what to do next. His hair was sticking up at odd angles, and his eyes were bright with unshed tears. Arthur had never seen anything more beautiful in his entire life.

Arthur said, “You like cocoa?”

Merlin nodded. Arthur put aside his thoughts of laying Merlin out on the bed, covering him with his body. He got up and said, “Let’s go make some.”

*****

They walked to the kitchen, Arthur “accidentally” brushing his arm against Merlin’s once or twice along the way. He wanted to touch Merlin so badly that he was afraid his hands would shake once they got to the kitchen.

It was confusing, the swirl of feelings he had around this slight, immature person. On the one hand, he wanted to help him through the terror of the bad dreams. He felt almost paternal toward Merlin, and since his own father had mostly been cold and emotionally withholding, he had no model for how to be a nurturing father.

On the other hand, he knew that his every move was cold and calculating, designed to make himself look good to Merlin. He realized that Merlin probably saw him as older than the Pyramids, but Arthur was realistic about himself, and he knew he was considered a very good-looking man. His task was to get Merlin’s confidence, to get close to him, and then get him thinking about what it might be like to touch and hold him. 

And underneath both of these was the realization that he thought he and Merlin had lived other lives together. And that he was probably going insane.

For tonight, he would do his best to give Merlin what he needed. But he was not going to lose sight of the ultimate goal, winning Merlin, body and soul.

He got the milk out of the fridge and bent down to get a saucepan out of the cupboard. When he straightened up, he could see that Merlin had been checking out his ass, and he fought down a smirk. _Good. I hope he likes what he sees._

Merlin was blushing slightly, and twisting his hands nervously in the bottom of his sweatshirt. He needed something to do, before he started beating himself up about being caught looking. Arthur quickly spooned cocoa powder and sugar into the pan, then handed Merlin a whisk after he turned the burner on. “Here, keep stirring.”

He moved aside as Merlin went to the stove, careful not to let their bodies touch. Merlin had enough to think about for one night.

When the cocoa was done, Arthur reached into the refrigerator and came out with a can of Reddi-Whip, saying triumphantly, “Ta Da!” before topping off the cups with an inch of the chemical-laden stuff. Merlin smiled, and Arthur hoped the awkward moment had passed. The last thing he needed was Merlin self-conscious around him.

They sat at the island again and sipped at the cocoa, quiet, until Arthur noticed that Merlin was twisting that infernal purity ring. It was a nervous habit, and he filed it away. Always good to know what your opponents “tell” was.

He said gently, “How long have you been wearing that?”, touching the ring with his index finger lightly.

“About a year,” Merlin said, apparently finding something interesting to study in the bottom of his cup. “Some of my friends were joining up with the True Love Waits movement, and I really believed in what they had to say, so I did too. And then I had some money for my birthday, and I bought the ring, so everyone would know that I had made this commitment.” He looked at Arthur for the first time, looking earnest and so very young.

Arthur said nothing. He’d learned long ago that most people didn’t like silence, so they would try to fill it if the other person kept quiet. It was one of the arrows in his quiver of negotiation tricks.

Merlin fell for it. He continued, nervously, “How old were you when you first had sex, Arthur?”

*****

Arthur shook his head. “I can’t tell you.” He saw the flash of hurt in Merlin’s eyes before Merlin hung his head again.

He longed to take Merlin’s chin in his hand and turn him to face him, but he knew that would be a bad move. So he said, “Merlin” with just a hint of steel in his voice, and waited for Merlin to look at him. 

When Merlin made eye contact again, Arthur continued, “The reason I can’t tell you, or rather I won’t tell you, is that I don’t want you comparing yourself to me. I might have made different choices than you will, and the age I first had sex really isn’t relevant to what you could or should do. I will tell you that I got married at twenty-nine, and I wasn’t a virgin. Neither was my ex. It wasn’t an issue for either of us.”

He let that sink in, and then said, “Merlin, you’re young. You have a lot of mistakes ahead of you, probably including sexual mistakes. You may end up having bad sex at some point, or sex with someone you realize later was a user. But if that happens, or even if you find you change your mind about the purity ring business, you have to be able to forgive yourself. It’s part of growing up.”

Merlin shifted in his chair, obviously uncomfortable. “But what if you make a really bad mistake, and it hurts someone else permanently?”

Arthur shifted away from Merlin a little, giving him some space, and said, “You’ll have to be more specific, Merlin. Are you talking about pregnancy?”

Merlin sounded angry. “Yeah. Pregnancy. My father got my mother pregnant, never married her, and left before I was born. Never sent a dime of support, never sent me a birthday card. I don’t even know what he looks like; I’ve never even seen a picture of him. It was irresponsible.” 

Arthur closed his eyes, trying to think of exactly the right thing to say to respond to Merlin’s obvious anger and hurt. When he opened them again, Merlin was looking stubborn and even a little ashamed.

He answered gently, “You’re right, it was irresponsible, in the extreme. Your father should have done better by you. But let me ask you this. Do you think your mother regrets having you?”

Merlin didn’t hesitate. “No. My mom loves me more than anything, the way I love her. But it was so hard. She always put a good face on it, but before she got the job with you, we were always short of money. When I was little, she’d always make me a nice meal, chicken and rice and broccoli or something like that. And she’d have a bowl of ramen noodles. It took me years and years to figure out that most people ate the same foods at a meal, that moms didn’t always just have noodles. And she bought her clothes at the Salvation Army, and sometimes she’d clean houses on the weekend, on top of her regular job. When I figured all that out, I hated my father.”

Arthur longed to put his arms around Merlin, but he controlled himself. He took a risk and reached for Merlin’s hand where it lay clenched on the counter, squeezing it briefly before saying, “I can understand your feeling that way, Merlin. But it was his loss, not knowing you.”

Merlin looked mollified, and tried to make a joke. “Mostly I’d just like to confront the man who gave me these ears.”

Arthur said softly, “I like your ears. They suit you.” 

Merlin blushed again, and Arthur resolved that someday he’d see if he could get Merlin to turn that lovely pink color all over his body.

But for tonight, he’d done enough. He picked up the empty mugs and put them in the sink, running water into them to soak until morning. And for the second time that night, he sent Merlin to bed alone.

*****

Arthur was dreaming again, a wonderful dream. In other dreams about Merlin, he had experienced what the two of them were doing, but this was new. He was an observer, watching from the outside as if he were watching a play, still conscious of his modern-day life.  
 _He could see himself, a little older than he was in present time, with fine lines around his eyes. He was walking into a large room with stone walls, apparently a bedroom, and he was wearing a golden circlet on his head. The bed was massive, covered in furs and hung with velvet draperies in a rich crimson._

_He shrugged off a heavy cape in the same red color, and dropped it on a wooden table on his way to the fireplace. He sank into a chair there, and pulled the circlet out of his hair, flexing his wrist to lob it in the direction of the bed the way he might toss a Frisbee in his current life._

_Just as he was about to let it fly, a voice from the doorway, cool and amused, said, “Don’t you dare!”_

_His heart leapt with happiness, but he matched the other man’s detached tone as he said, “Ah, Merlin, I wondered if you’d honor me with your presence tonight. And the coronet is mine; I can throw it around if I feel like it.”_

_Merlin came closer to him, saying “And who will have to hammer out the dents when it hits the floor?”_

_Arthur scoffed. “Please, Merlin. As if you did any actual physical work even twenty years ago.” He waggled his fingers in the air in a parody of Merlin casting a spell._

_Merlin rolled his eyes as he took the circlet from him and set it on the table. He came and stood in front of Arthur, and Arthur let his legs fall open so Merlin could get closer. His lover smiled down at him affectionately._

_They were the same age in this life, and Merlin looked more elegant than Arthur could have imagined. His hair was longer, curling around his collar, and he had a well-trimmed beard with just a little silver in it. And he was dressed in rich fabrics, as rich as the ones Arthur himself wore._

_“Long day, my King?” he asked._

_“Unbearable,” he answered. “My court sorcerer was flitting around the castle and didn’t stay where he was supposed to be, at my side.”_

_Merlin chuckled. “I do have work to do, as well you know. I sometimes think you’d be happiest if you kept me chained to the throne.”  
“All these years and you still don’t know me, Merlin. If I’m going to chain you anywhere, it would be to my bed.” _

_“Our bed, you prat,” Merlin answered. And then he climbed into the chair, pushing his knees on either side of Arthur’s thighs, and leaned down and tangled his fingers in Arthur’s hair, possessive. He was murmuring against Arthur’s lips, “You only get to chain me to the bed on special occasions,” when suddenly he was saying Arthur’s name, much too loud..._

“Arthur....” 

He opened his eyes and there was fifteen year old Merlin, standing in the doorway to his bedroom, looking apologetic. 

_Shit. Exactly how many Merlins was he carrying around in his heart?_

*****

_Well. This was awkward._ Here he was, in bed, his dick like an iron bar between his legs, and a bright-eyed Merlin staring at him.

He groaned and rolled to his side, grateful for the sheets and duvet covering the lower part of his body. He folded an arm under his head and said, “Good morning, Merlin. What’s going on?”

Merlin’s words tumbled out in his eagerness to explain. _God, he was young._ “I’m sorry to wake you, but Lance called and offered to take me out to breakfast before the fencing, and I didn’t want to just leave, and I thought about writing you a note but I didn’t want you to be worried until you found it and...”

“Merlin.” Arthur said firmly. “It’s fine. When is Lance getting here?”

“Fifteen minutes.”

“Okay. Let me get dressed and make some coffee, and we’ll figure out how the rest of the day is going to go. Your mom is supposed to call me this morning, too.”

Merlin gave him one of those heart-stopping smiles. But he didn’t move away from the doorway. Arthur arched an eyebrow at him. “A little privacy so I can get dressed?”

“Um, sure. I’ll be in the kitchen.” Merlin unfolded his long body from where he had been leaning on the doorframe, and Arthur got up to get dressed, cursing the ever-hospitable Lance, his oldest friend, for taking Merlin away early.

*****

Arthur didn’t get to the kitchen right away (he had to take the time to jerk off again before he got dressed, but fortunately it only took about a minute and a half) but he threw on some well- worn jeans and a sweater and walked down the hallway, noticing that Merlin had made the bed in the guest room and folded the borrowed clothes neatly. _A good kid,_ he observed, _Hunith had trained him well._

Merlin was sitting at the counter, texting away, and Arthur felt a brief stab of jealousy, which he quickly pushed away. It was certainly normal and desirable for Merlin to have friends. He gave Merlin a quick smile as he set about making his coffee, and said, “There’s juice in the fridge if you want some.”

Merlin put the phone away and said, “Thanks, but Lance will be here in five minutes. He had some other ideas for today, too, he’s really being great. He noticed I need a haircut, and he said he was going this afternoon anyway, and he’d see if his guy could fit me in, too, after we get done at the club.”

Arthur winced. “You’re letting _Lance’s_ barber cut your hair?”

Merlin looked puzzled. “Sure, why not?”

Arthur answered seriously, “Well, I wouldn’t. But to each his own.”

Merlin grinned. “You’re pulling my leg.”

“Maybe a little. Just don’t let him scalp you.”

“Okay.”

There was a knock at the door, and Merlin leapt up, saying eagerly, “I’ll get it,” before he remembered his manners and said, “Sorry, it’s your house, you probably want to get it.”

“Come on, then,” Arthur said, and they went to the door together.

*****

Lance looked as gorgeous as he always looked, damn him, and Arthur felt jealous again. It seemed to be a permanent condition. But Lance was his right hand man, always had been, and he knew that Lance was trustworthy. Merlin went back to grab his backpack, and Arthur said easily, “When you get done with the breakfasting and the fencing and the haircutting, bring him back here. Hunith won’t be back tonight, and he can spend the night here again.”

Lance said, “You know, it’s great that you rescued Merlin at the bus stop, but why the sudden interest? I thought you didn’t like kids in general, and were lukewarm on Merlin in particular.”

Arthur raised his chin, challenging. “He’s a good kid, and he needs some attention with his mother gone. I’m just trying to give him some, the same as you are. Do you have a problem with that? Because Hunith doesn’t.”

Lance backed off. “No, no problem. I’m sure your intentions are good.” He seemed to weigh his words before continuing. “Sometimes, Arthur, you mess with people’s heads without realizing what you’re doing. Just be careful, okay? I’d hate to see him hurt if you lost interest in him, or something.”

“I’d hate to see him hurt, too,” Arthur said, quite sincerely.

Merlin bounded back into the room, and they left, Merlin promising to call when they were on their way back. He waved them off, but he noticed that as they walked to the elevator, Lance gave him a searching look over his shoulder.

When they were gone, Arthur thought coldly, _Lance fancies himself as Merlin’s protector. But Merlin only needs one protector, and that’s me._

*****

Arthur wandered through his apartment after Merlin and Lance left, feeling bereft. It was funny how large a hole Merlin’s absence had left, considering that he’d only spent about twelve hours there, most of them sleeping.

He wondered if he’d made a mistake saying that Merlin could spend the night here again. Merlin was young, but he was competent, and there was no real reason why he couldn’t return to his own home. No real reason, except the fact that Arthur couldn’t bear to let him go.

Hunith being out of town was a rare event, and it would be foolish of him not to use the time to get closer to Merlin. And he knew he could control himself. He was desperate to have sex with Merlin, but the sex wasn’t really the point. He wanted to make Merlin love him, and after that the sex would be easy, and that stupid purity ring would be nothing but a memory.

He took another cup of coffee into the den where he had spent last evening with Merlin, and settled into a chair with his laptop and his phone. He spent almost every Saturday at the office, so it was unusual for him to have the whole day in front of him. He’d been tempted to invite himself along with Merlin and Lance, but he didn’t want to monopolize Merlin’s time (well, actually, he did, but he was smart enough to hide that.) And it wasn’t a good tactic to appear overeager; maybe Merlin would find himself thinking of him during the day, wishing he was there, and that would be all to the good.

Being with Merlin was making Arthur realize some things about himself, like the fact that until he came along life had been dull and joyless. People thought it had started when he’d found out that Sophia had been cheating on him, but the truth was that the infidelity was a symptom and not a cause of their unhappiness together. The reality was, they’d never been well suited, and once the initial sexual charge had worn off he’d realized that she was a shallow little gold-digger.

It wasn’t even her fault. It was his fault for not seeing her clearly. It felt almost like he’d been underwater the whole time he’d been with her, floating while his life and the things he cared about drifted away.

Since then, he’d thrown himself even further into his work, and given up the hope of having someone to love and share his life.  
But with Merlin, tendrils of hope were curling up, green and tender, from a heart he had thought was dead.

*****

Arthur kept busy while Merlin was away. Hunith called and said she was planning to be home on Tuesday. That meant Merlin was going to be alone for three more nights.

He hadn’t been sure about how to approach Hunith with the idea of Merlin staying with him until she got back, but in thinking over his last conversation with her, he arrived at the answer.

When she was done thanking him again for taking Merlin home the night before, he said, “Really, he was no trouble…. We watched a movie, that’s something I often do on a Friday night anyway. I hardly knew he was here. There was only one little thing…” He paused for dramatic effect.

“What, Arthur? Please tell me.”

“There was a thunderstorm last night, and he had a bad dream. It wasn’t a big deal, I woke him up and he was fine. I think he misses you.”

Arthur knew full well that the last statement was true, but manipulative. And on some level he disliked himself for using what she had told him about Merlin’s fear of thunderstorms to get her to agree to let Merlin stay. But Arthur was determined not to lose a precious minute with Merlin, and if he had to betray Hunith’s trust in him, it was collateral damage.

After he told Hunith about Merlin’s nightmare, it was short work to convince her that he should stay with Arthur until she returned from taking care of her sister. She said she’d call Merlin and tell him about her decision.

Satisfied with what he’d accomplished, Arthur turned to the next thing on his list: figuring out what to do that night. He was content just to be in the same room with Merlin, but he didn’t want him to be bored. He’d like to take Merlin out to one of his favorite restaurants, but that might look like a date and scare Merlin off. So he decided he should cook. He had two or three things that he could make that were pretty decent, so he put a list in his phone of the ingredients he needed and resolved to go to the Whole Foods around the corner after he finished his next task.

One thing that had become clear to him while he rattled around the apartment that morning was that he was still living in Sophia’s house. He liked the apartment, with its walls of windows. It was particularly beautiful at night, with the city lights sparkling below like some sort of magical kingdom.

But he hated the way she had decorated it- all white and sterile and cold. If he was going to stay here, he wanted it to be more warm and homelike. He was craving color, and if he was honest with himself he knew that part of his motivation was that Merlin was too pale to look good against all that white. 

He thought he’d start with his bedroom, which was as soulless as the rest of the place. He spent an hour scanning various decorators’ websites, and when he found someone he thought could do what he wanted, he put in a call to her.

Maybe by the time Merlin’s birthday rolled around, he’d be able to take him to bed in a room that looked rich and luxurious, not like a hospital room.

*****

Merlin didn’t call until after four o’clock, and by that time Arthur had to exert all of his self-discipline not to call him and demand to know what was taking so long. He’d agreed that Lance could have him for the day, not the whole weekend.

Merlin sounded excited, bubbling over about how cool the fencing had been and how awesome Lance was and what a great day it had been. Arthur listened patiently, and when there was a break in Merlin’s recital he said, “I’m glad you had such a good time. Is Lance bringing you back now?”

When Merlin answered in the affirmative, Arthur said calmly, “Tell Lance there’s no need to walk you up. He can just drop you off at the lobby, and you know the way up here in the elevator. No need for Lance to take the time to park, you’re not a child, right?”

Merlin readily agreed that he could get up to the apartment on his own, pleased to have Arthur thinking of him as a grown-up.

And if Lance got the message that his assistance was no longer required, that was fine with Arthur.

*****

When Merlin got back, he seemed pleased to be there. He told Arthur that he’d talked to his mother, and he seemed cheerfully accepting of the idea that he’d be staying at Arthur’s place for the next few days. In fact, part of the reason he was back late was that Lance had taken him home to pick up some clothes and his laptop.

 _So helpful, our Lance,_ Arthur thought sarcastically.

Arthur asked what he’d thought of the fencing, and Merlin said, “I liked it, I didn’t realize how many rules there are. Lance spent 15 minutes going over all the safety stuff before I ever picked up a sword. I’m going to be sore tomorrow, though, it was hard work.”  
Arthur carefully fast-forwarded past his mental images of various reasons Merlin could be sore tomorrow, and said, “Maybe next weekend Lance and I can do a demonstration for you; it’s been a while, but I love fencing.” 

Merlin thought that was a great idea, and they played some more video games for a while until Arthur enlisted Merlin’s help in making dinner.

The rest of the night went pretty much the way the one before had, except that they went for a long walk after they ate. Merlin walked just slightly behind Arthur, his steps bouncy, and that triggered a brief flashback in Arthur, some shadowy idea that they had walked together many times, Merlin always at his right side. It felt so _right_ to Arthur, and he hoped it felt that way to Merlin, too.

It was hard for him to assess Merlin’s emotional state. He was always so cheerful, always acting like everything was fine, except for that brief period after the storm when he’d shared his pain about his father. So Arthur couldn’t even tell if Merlin liked him, or if he was just getting the same open and easy pleasantness that the rest of the world got.

_Well, I don’t need to be in a hurry. I’d rather take it slow than make a mistake and freak the kid out._

*****

They put in another movie when they got back, **Zombieland.** Arthur had ordered it when he bought the video games, figuring that there was nothing that made adolescent boys happier than zombies. Merlin hadn’t seen it before, and he went bonkers for it, doubling over with laughter at the goriest bits.

Once again they were on the long couch, at opposite ends. But halfway through the movie Merlin took one of pillows strewn around the room and lay down on his side, wedging the pillow under his head. He kept his knees drawn up, so his feet weren’t quite touching Arthur, but he was definitely into Arthur’s space.

Arthur knew it was innocent, and he wasn’t going to try to make it into something it wasn’t. But still, the sight of Merlin’s sock clad foot inches from his hand was making him twitchy. 

When the movie was over, Arthur poked Merlin gently in the ankle and said, “Want some ice cream?”

Merlin said, “No, I’m still full from dinner.” He stretched like a cat, yawning, and said, “Let’s just talk.”

“What do you want to talk about?” Arthur asked, cautious.

Merlin shrugged. “I don’t know. Just tell me something. What’s your ideal vacation?” 

Arthur answered promptly, “A private beach somewhere in the Caribbean, with a tropical drink in my hand, and no phone or Internet.” 

“With a beautiful woman?” Merlin teased.

“Beautiful women are always nice to have around,” Arthur conceded. “But I think I’d say, with someone I love.”

They talked for a while longer, but Arthur could see Merlin’s eyes drifting shut. He knew he should wake him up and send him to bed, but it was peaceful, watching him falling asleep, and Arthur didn’t have the heart to wake him.

When Merlin’s breath had deepened and evened out, Arthur got up quietly and unfolded a throw that had been folded on one of the chairs. He laid it gently over Merlin, and in the soft lamplight, he let himself have one moment of indulgence.

He leaned down and pushed Merlin’s hair off of his face, letting his fingers run through the silky strands. And then he made himself walk away.

*****

As was usually the case these days, Arthur’s dreams were full of snippets of Merlin. He saw Merlin wearing a rather odd triangular scarf, or in a courtyard apparently flirting with a woman who looked just like Lance’s wife Gwen. Once he saw him covered in blood, with the face of an avenging angel. But mostly he saw him in domestic scenes, some sweet and some filthy.

He woke up with a lingering vision of Merlin on his knees before him, sucking his cock and looking up at him with wicked blue eyes.  
_Someday soon they’d have to act that one out,_ he thought, stumbling into the bathroom to masturbate in the shower. 

He dressed with care, in the jeans he’d been told showed off his ass well, and a soft Armani sweater with a v-neck. He didn’t usually wear designer clothes at home, but today was special. He had a guest.

When he went to his den, Merlin was still asleep on the couch. He’d half expected Merlin to wake in the night and find his way to the spare bedroom, but it seemed teenage boys slept like the dead. He picked up his laptop and settled in a chair across the room from Merlin, opening the computer so he had a plausible excuse for being in the room. If his actual intent was to watch Merlin while he slept, no one had to know that.

He studied Merlin as he slept. His lips were pink, his eyelashes seemed unnaturally long, and his cheekbones looked like they’d been chiseled by a master sculptor. The new haircut wasn’t bad, although when they were together he thought he’d ask Merlin to grow his hair longer. Merlin had such lovely hair, soft and thick, and it would be nice to have enough length to really run his fingers through. 

Or to pull on a bit when they were in a mood for rough sex.

After half an hour, which Arthur spent studying Merlin and fantasizing, Merlin woke up, yawning and stretching. When he saw that Arthur was in the room with him, he smiled, completely unself-conscious. “Morning,” he said. “What time is it?”

“About ten,” Arthur answered. “You fell asleep on the couch last night, and I didn’t have the heart to wake you.”

“That means I slept in my clothes,” Merlin said. “Yuck.”

Arthur grinned. “Yuck is right. Once you get dressed, I thought we’d go out and get some breakfast. I know a little place that makes huevos rancheros to die for.”

“I need a shower, but after that you’re on,” Merlin said sleepily. “I’m going to get spoiled, going out for breakfast two days in a row.”

 _I’d love to spoil you,_ Arthur thought. But instead he said, “Did you have homework to do? It’s raining out, and I thought we could go to the museum, but it depends on how much homework you have.”

Merlin sat up, and his hair was all tousled and bed-heady, and Arthur bit on his thumb, hoping the pain would distract him from the rush of lust that coursed through him. Merlin was counting on his fingers. “I have an essay for English Lit, but I already started it, I probably need an hour, and then I have algebra problems that should only take half an hour.” He added hopefully, “I could do it after the museum.”

Arthur said firmly, “Work first, play later.”

So they went out for breakfast, Arthur mostly listening while Merlin chattered away, and then Arthur caught up on some reports while Merlin studied. They went to the museum after that, and when Arthur asked Merlin what he wanted to see, he said, “Whatever you want.”

*****

So Arthur took him to his favorite part of the museum, the part he’d loved since he was a small child: the Medieval Wing. They walked through the armor, Arthur explaining that people used to be shorter, so the armor seemed smaller than it should have been. He was happily explaining the various parts of the armor, the hauberk and the greave and the vambrace and the fauld, when Merlin said, “How do you know so much about this?” in a faintly awed tone.

Arthur shrugged. “It’s always been an interest of mine. When I was a kid, I collected those little metal knights, and I’d spread them all over my room in huge battles. And then my dad started bringing me here, and I did some reading and just picked up things. I think it’s fascinating, chivalry and the knight’s code of honor and questing.”

Merlin said thoughtfully, “I don’t know. It seems like a stupid way to fight, lurching around in forty pounds of armor. It seems like two tanks going at each other, slow and dogged.”

“There was an element of that, but there was also a big element of skill. A faster knight who was lighter on his feet had an advantage over a slower one. And like anything else, there was strategy and tactics.” He paused and said, “I always liked the idea of fighting for a cause you believed in, being someone’s champion.”

He stopped, a little embarrassed at having revealed so much, but when he looked at Merlin he saw nothing but rapt interest. Merlin answered him shyly, saying, “I could see you as a warrior.” 

It felt like they were alone in the museum hall, suspended in time, the people walking around them completely irrelevant. Their eyes were locked and each of them was breathing a little fast. Finally Arthur broke his gaze away from Merlin’s and said, “Come on, they have a mock-up of the Great Hall of a castle up ahead.”

 _Please, let him remember something soon,_ Arthur prayed to any deities who might be listening. _Please don’t make me be all alone in this._

*****

For the rest of the day, he kept his thoughts in line and his hands off Merlin. His internal clock kept reminding him that he only had two more nights with Merlin under his roof, and he tried to enjoy each precious moment. He was already plotting and planning, though. Maybe sometime after Merlin’s sixteenth birthday, he could ship Hunith off to a conference of some sort. He could find something that he could sell to her as professional development, and then he would have more nights alone with Merlin. He could make that happen.

They had a quiet evening, and he asked Merlin’s advice about installing some software on his computer. They worked side by side on it, Merlin pleased to be useful, and every once in a while their legs or hands would brush against each other as they talked.  
Arthur couldn’t remember being so happy in a long, long time.

Monday morning he dropped Merlin off at school, saying casually, “See you at the office.” Merlin said, “Yeah. Bye,” and started to exit the car. But he turned back and awkwardly wrapped an arm around Arthur’s neck in a rough hug, his lips brushing against Arthur’s jaw. Arthur was too stunned to respond, and simply watched as Merlin ran to catch up with a group of friends and entered the building. 

He’d been with Merlin since Friday night, and he was already feeling the loss as he drove away. And now he had something big to think about. _What did that hug mean? And was that a kiss, or an accident?_

*****

As usual for a Monday, Arthur had a lot of meetings and a lot of things to do. Having Hunith gone impaired his efficiency, and he realized again how important she was to the smooth functioning of his office. She was a smart woman with a talent for organization, and he was starting to realize that he had been taking her for granted.

He threw himself into his work, trying to push Merlin to the back of his mind. He wasn’t entirely successful, and when three o’clock rolled around, he started checking his watch more often than he should. Merlin usually arrived between three thirty and four, and since this was the last night Merlin would be staying with him, he wanted to make the most of it.

When it got to be 4:15 and there was no sign of Merlin, he started to get a little anxious. By 4:30, he was really starting to get worried, and considering calling Merlin. He didn’t want to come off as an overprotective parental figure, but Merlin had never just not shown up when he was expected to work on his internship.

He was just about to call Merlin’s cell when his temporary assistant knocked on his door. She sounded worried. “Mr. Pendragon, the principal of Merlin’s school is on the line. He says there’s a problem with Merlin, and he needs to talk to you. Line 3.”

His voice calm despite the hammering of his heart at her words, he said, “Thank you. No other calls.” He picked up the phone with a hand whose steadiness surprised him. “Arthur Pendragon.”

“Mr. Pendragon, this is Dan Escovedo, the principal at the high school. Merlin Emrys has been injured at school, and he insisted we call you. He needs to go to the hospital, and he says his mother is out of town. He’s refusing to give us his mother’s cell phone number; he won’t do anything until he talks to you.”

Arthur’s brain clicked into the cool, decisive mode he entered in times of crisis. “How is he injured? Does he need an ambulance?”

There was a short silence. “We found him being beaten by three students. He was on the floor. He has a cut on his head, and he can’t move his left arm. It’s possible it’s broken, or he may have a dislocated shoulder. He’s in a lot of pain. He’s conscious and talking, so I don’t think an ambulance is necessary, but he needs to get to the ER as soon as possible.”

Arthur felt rage, but it seemed to just make him colder. “Have you called the police?”

“No,” the principal answered. “That’s not how we usually handle these things.”

Arthur’s voice was icy. “It’s how you handle this one. I’d suggest you call them, or I will. This is a criminal assault, and I expect a criminal prosecution. I’ll be there as soon as I can. Let me talk to Merlin.”

The few seconds before Merlin came on the line seemed endless. “Arthur?” Merlin said, sounding flat and remote.

“Merlin,” Arthur said, as gently as he could under the circumstances, so he didn’t scare Merlin further. “I’ll be there in fifteen minutes. Can you hold on until then?”

Merlin sighed. “Yeah.” His voice broke, just a little. “I need you to take me to the hospital. It hurts.”

“I’m on my way. It will be okay, I promise.”

He hung up the phone, yelling for his secretary as he grabbed his coat and his keys. He knew he was too angry to drive, and there were always two drivers on call for the company. He was talking as he headed out the door for the elevators. “I want a car at the lobby in three minutes. And find Lance and tell him to meet me at Camelot High School as fast as he can get there.”

He needed Lance to take names and kick ass and deal with the police. There was going to be hell to pay for the thugs who had hurt Merlin, and their parents. But for right now, he had to get to Merlin.

Merlin needed him, and that was all that mattered.

*****

The trip to the high school seemed like it took forever, but they made it there in twelve minutes. Arthur kept repeating the mantra, _He’s okay, he has to be okay,_ to try to calm himself down. When they pulled up, he told the driver, “Leave the car running, I’ll be back in five minutes” and sprinted into the building.

He found the school office, and quickly scanned the room, looking for Merlin. There were a number of adults milling around, some looking like angry parents, and three large and sulky- looking teenagers in chairs along one wall, with someone Arthur assumed was the principal standing over them. But he only cared about Merlin, who was sitting slumped in a corner with his left arm cradled into his body, his face ghastly white and his eyes closed. He was holding a blood-stained cloth to a cut on his head. 

Arthur crossed the room in long strides and crouched in front of Merlin, putting his hand gently on Merlin’s knee to get his attention. “Hey,” he said, and Merlin opened his eyes. 

What he saw there made him so angry he had to fight down a hot rush of hatred for the thugs who had done this to him. Merlin’s eyes were dull with pain, and he looked world-weary. But he tried to smile at Arthur anyway, a brave if not entirely successful attempt.

He had scrapes on his face and when Arthur carefully moved the cloth away, the cut on his head looked like it was going to need stitches. His hands were red and bruised, the left one worse than the right, and Arthur realized with disbelief that someone had stomped on the hand with booted feet.

He took a deep breath, knowing that this wasn’t the moment to indulge himself in anger. As calmly as he could, he said, “I have a car here; we’re going to take you to the ER. I just need one minute to talk to the principal and we’ll leave, alright? Can you hold on for me?”

Merlin nodded, and Arthur rose, crossing the room. The principal said, “Mr. Pendragon, I am so sorry for this…”

Arthur said crisply, “Leave it, okay? Ms. Emrys is going to want all the details at some point, and an explanation of how this could have happened in your school. But for right now, I want you to know that my associate is coming here to make sure the police thoroughly investigate this. I assume they’ll need a statement from Merlin, they can call my office tomorrow to set that up.”

He turned to the three boys and their parents, who were looking scared and resentful at the mention of the police. He said, “I hope you feel like big men, beating on someone half your size, and three against one. I’d suggest you lawyer up for the criminal proceedings, and for the civil lawsuit that Ms. Emrys is going to bring against you for assault and battery. By the time my lawyers are done with you, Merlin won’t have to worry about how to pay for his college education, and that’s a promise. And you’d better hope that Merlin never has reason to mention any of your names to me ever again.” 

He ignored the indignant sputtering coming from a couple of the parents, and turned on his heel, going over to Merlin and saying gently, “Okay, we can go now,” and helping him get to his feet.

Merlin seemed a little wobbly, but Arthur sensed that he wanted to walk out on his own power while his attackers were watching. Once they were out in the hallway, Arthur said, “You can lean on me if you want,” and Merlin nodded. Arthur wrapped an arm around his waist, careful not to touch his injured arm, and they slowly made their way to the car.

*****

The next five or six hours were among the most unpleasant of Arthur’s life.

Merlin had either been unwilling or unable to talk during the trip to the ER, and Arthur didn’t press him. He figured Merlin would have to tell the story at the hospital, and he was obviously in a lot of pain. Merlin had curled up in the corner of the car, his eyes closed again. Arthur would have liked to take his hand, but he wasn’t sure how badly Merlin’s hands were hurt. At least the left one would have to be x-rayed, probably both of them.

And maybe a touch of any kind would not be welcome.

He debated about calling Hunith, but decided to wait. Fortunately, he’d had the forethought to get a medical authorization from her before she left the state, so he could authorize medical treatment for Merlin. He’d call her as soon as he had a better idea of the extent of Merlin’s injuries. He didn’t see any point in upsetting her twice.

They got through triage and registration fairly quickly, and once he presented the authorization to the clerk, her eyes widened a bit and she said, “Thank you, Mr. Pendragon.” After that everyone snapped to in a gratifying manner.

Arthur reflected cynically that it never hurt to have the same name as one of the wings of the building. His father had endowed the Igraine Pendragon Maternal and Neonatal Health Center while Arthur was still an infant, and Pendragon Limited was a major supporter of the hospital. But if it helped Merlin get quicker and better medical treatment, Arthur considered it worth every penny. 

Merlin had calmly recounted to the medical staff how he’d been cornered in an empty hallway by three students who started pushing him around, taking his backpack and dumping the contents out. Knowing he was outnumbered, he’d tried to walk away, but they’d pushed him to the ground, then kicked and beaten him.

He categorically refused to say what had started the altercation, or what past issues there might have been between him and the other students. Arthur knew that the police, not to mention his mother, would insist on knowing the background, but it didn’t seem relevant to Merlin’s treatment. So when they started pressing Merlin, he said, “This can wait. It doesn’t make any difference in how you treat him, and he’s been through a lot. Please get on with it.”

Merlin flashed him a grateful look, which made Arthur felt a little guilty. He knew that tomorrow he’d be getting the story out of Merlin, even if he had to do some verbal bullying to get it. He had to know exactly what had happened so he could protect Merlin and make sure it never happened again.

But breaking through Merlin’s defenses and finding out the truth wasn’t the task in front of him, so he pushed it aside.  
Merlin was a trouper for the treatment, submitting to poking and prodding and x-rays and the insertion of an IV line. There had only been two things where he’d been less than a perfect patient. The first was when a nurse suggested that they cut his hoodie off so they could look at his arm. She explained that getting it over his head would be very painful, and that it would be fastest and easiest to just slit it open.

Merlin was adamant that it come off over his head, arguing, “It’s my favorite hoodie, it’s bad enough those jerks beat me up, I’m not going to lose one of my favorite shirts to them, too.”

The woman had looked at Arthur, but he could see the fire in Merlin’s eyes, and he said, “It’s his decision. Let’s try it and if it’s unbearable, we can reconsider.”

So he and the nurse eased the hoodie off of Merlin, and Merlin didn’t make a sound. But it did jostle his shoulder, and he looked even whiter when it was finally pulled over his head.

She’d also said that the purity ring should be cut off, since the fingers on Merlin’s left hand were swelling. She said that it would have to come off for the x-ray in any event. Merlin didn’t want to do it, but after watching the pain the removal of the hoodie had caused, Arthur was in no mood to screw around with the ring.

He said firmly, “Merlin, it isn’t a unique item, it can be replaced. Or maybe repaired, although it probably didn’t cost that much, right? I think you have to let it go.”

Merlin had been rebellious, sulkily saying, “It cost fifty bucks, and I bought it with my own money.” It was one of the few times Arthur had seen Merlin acting like a stereotypical teenager. But Arthur said gently, “We’ll add it to the bill we send to the jerks who did this,” and Merlin reluctantly agreed to have the interlocking rings cut off. The tech that did it looked around as if to ask what to do with the ring, and Arthur held out his hand. He stuffed the ring into his shirt pocket and promptly forgot about it.

Merlin looked smaller and younger in the hospital gown, although they let him keep his jeans and shoes on. Arthur was grateful for that; a person felt more autonomous with their own clothes on, and Merlin had been dehumanized enough for one day.

Arthur stayed with him every minute, even though Merlin suggested he go get a cup of coffee or something, bravely saying he would be fine on his own. But Arthur refused, and watched as the IV was inserted in Merlin’s thin arm, and was relieved when they administered painkillers. Merlin got much more relaxed and dozy after that.

The cut on Merlin’s head needed stitches. After x-rays showed that there were no cracked ribs or broken bones, and that his hands were just bruised, it was determined that he did have a dislocated shoulder. Merlin would have to have a reduction, and would need some pretty heavy duty anesthesia for a very painful procedure, which involved putting the ball of the humerus back into the joint socket.

Arthur had quietly let it be known that he didn’t want any residents or interns touching Merlin, and they waited for a doctor who he was told was the best orthopedic surgeon on staff. In the meantime, the amount of painkillers was upped dramatically, so that Merlin would pretty much be out of it for the procedure.

The procedure itself went quickly, and Arthur forced himself to watch, his knuckles white. When it was over, they said Merlin would have to stay for another couple of hours, until the drugs wore off enough that he could safely go home.

They wrapped Merlin in a blanket and dimmed the lights, and Arthur reluctantly left the sleeping boy to go to a lounge and call Hunith. She was understandably upset, but he convinced her to wait until the next day to drive back. It was already past ten o’clock, and driving all night would just exhaust her and not help Merlin. She finally said that she would leave her sister’s house in the morning, and would probably arrive in the late afternoon.

She made Arthur promise to have Merlin call her when he woke up. 

Then he called Lance and got the details of what had happened at the school when the police arrived. Lance told him the three students had received a two week suspension from the principal, and Arthur said grimly, “Good. But that’s the least of their worries.” He updated Lance about Merlin’s condition, and Lance offered to come to the hospital. But Arthur declined, saying there was nothing he could do there, and that there was a rule of only one person in the room with the patient.

This was true, although Arthur knew he could get the rule waived if he asked. But he hadn’t actually been alone with Merlin since this whole debacle had started, and even though Lance was his best friend, he didn’t want him there. He told Lance that he’d call him the next day, and rang off.

Then he went back to Merlin and sat by him for the next two hours, stroking his hair and whispering over and over, “You’re going to be okay, little falcon.”

*****

Arthur could feel it when Merlin started to wake up, and pulled his hand back from where it had been resting at the nape of Merlin’s neck. Merlin started to stretch, and then groaned as he realized that his arm was injured. He opened his eyes and said, “Arthur?”

“Yeah, I’m here. How do you feel?”

“Sore,” Merlin answered, seeming to take an inventory of his body. “Do you think we can get out of here now?”

“I’ll see what I can do,” he promised.

In fact, it took another hour to get the instructions and a prescription for more pain-killers and the discharge papers. Merlin would have to see a doctor to have the stitches in his scalp removed, and follow up with an orthopedist to see if he would need physical therapy on the arm. They brought a sling that Merlin would have to use for several days to relieve pressure on his shoulder.

But finally they were ready to leave. Arthur had called the driver when it looked like they were close, and he pulled up to the emergency room door and got out to help Merlin into the car.

It was almost 1 a.m., and the air was chilly. Arthur draped his suit coat around Merlin’s shoulders, since putting the hoodie back on wasn’t an option. Merlin started to protest, but Arthur said, “I don’t need it, I have a long sleeved shirt on, and you just have a thin t-shirt.” So Merlin went along with it.

Once they were in the car, Arthur said, “Are you hungry?” Merlin shook his head, but said, “You know what I’d really like? A coffee.” Arthur knew Merlin’s tastes well enough by now to know that what he called “a coffee”, most people would call “a dessert.” So they went through the drive-through at Starbucks, and Merlin got the biggest size of something with enough caffeine and sugar and chocolate in it to fuel a small manufacturing plant. 

_I wish everything Merlin is going to need coming out of this mess was that easy to solve,_ Arthur thought. Arthur was well aware that there could be psychological damage from the assault, and that it might be more difficult to treat than the physical damage.

For the moment, Merlin seemed quiet and withdrawn, but not particularly upset. The doctor had said he’d miss a couple of days of school, and Merlin hadn’t been happy about that, but had accepted it.

When they got back to the apartment, Arthur unlocked the door and they stood in the dark for a moment. Arthur was moving to turn on some lights when Merlin reached for his hand and said, “Just a minute.”

Arthur froze, waiting, and Merlin said, “I could use a hug.”

He carefully wrapped his arms around Merlin’s body, not too tight, a cautious hug. Merlin relaxed into him, saying simply, “That was hard. I’m glad you were there.”

Arthur tried to keep his tone casual when he answered, “I wouldn’t be anywhere else.”

*****

Merlin called Hunith while Arthur changed out of his work clothes, and they talked for twenty minutes. He could hear Merlin trying to minimize the severity of the assault and the unpleasantness of the experience in the ER, trying to be a good son and reassure her.  
He had been raised in a single-parent home, too, but the dynamic was totally different than the one between Merlin and his mom. Merlin obviously considered it his job to look out for Hunith, and the closeness of their bond was readily apparent. Arthur was glad Merlin had that kind of love, even if Hunith could potentially become his enemy down the road.

He’d cross that bridge when he came to it.

Merlin was looking exhausted, and Arthur suggested he go to bed. But Merlin wanted a shower, and got agitated when he realized that he wouldn’t be able to raise his arms to wash his hair.

“There’s _dirt_ in it, the floor was _dirty,_ ” he said, his voice rising. “And blood. I can’t go to bed with blood in my hair, it’s _disgusting._ And how can I take a shower one-handed?”

“Whoa, calm down,” Arthur said, recognizing that Merlin was about to have a delayed meltdown, after holding it together all night. It was understandable, but Arthur wanted to avert major hysteria if he could. They’d both had enough drama for one day.

He said, “You could take a bath, in my bathroom. I could help you.” He tried to keep his voice even, like this was no big deal. He added, “It’s got a Jacuzzi. It would feel good on your sore muscles.”

He could see that Merlin was torn between modesty and the desire to get clean. He could almost hear the wheels turning in Merlin’s head. Merlin said, “Um…” and flushed pink at the thought of being naked and having Arthur bathe him.

Arthur made himself sound bored and matter of fact. “Merlin, I’m 36 years old, and I’m involved in sports practically since birth. Do you have any idea how many hundreds of locker rooms I’ve been in? You’ve got nothing I haven’t seen before. You can put a washcloth over your crotch if it makes you feel better. Come on.”

He turned and went to his bathroom, hoping Merlin would follow him. He did.

*****

Arthur turned on the water in the tub and squirted in some shower gel as Merlin looked around the bathroom and said half-jokingly, “Well, I’m impressed.” Arthur joked back, “As well you should be.” He had to admit the master bathroom was pretty impressive. It had a double shower stall with a translucent glass door, and a separate enclosure for the toilet. The tub was large and lavish, with two steps going up to it. There was a sturdy antique Mission chair near the tub, and Arthur got a couple of fluffy bath sheets and laid them over the back.

Then he gestured to the chair and said, “Sit, I’ll help you with your shoes.” He intended to undress Merlin himself, but he saw no need to announce that plan to Merlin.

Merlin perched on the edge of the chair, looking nervous. Arthur was a little nervous, too, but he wasn’t going to show it.  
He knelt in front of the chair and removed Merlin’s shoes, and then his socks, admiring Merlin’s high-arched feet. Then he carefully unlooped the sling from around Merlin’s neck and set it aside. He carefully worked the t-shirt off the injured arm, then off the other arm, and finally pulled it over Merlin’s head.

Merlin’s chest was smooth and pale, no hair yet. Arthur let his hands skim along Merlin’s sides while he took the shirt off, feeling the softness of his skin, but he didn’t linger and he hoped that Merlin wouldn’t notice.

Merlin kept his eyes downcast while this was going on, shy. Arthur stood, running a soft finger over Merlin’s shoulder, which was already turning purple. “That will look worse tomorrow,” he observed. “It’s going to be really bruised. We should put some ice on it before you go to bed.” Merlin nodded, yawning.

“Hey, no falling asleep yet, you were the one who wanted to get clean first,” Arthur said mildly. He decided that he should give Merlin some privacy, hoping it would reduce his skittishness if he had a little time alone, so he said, “Can you manage the jeans?”  
“Yeah, I guess I’d better figure it out, since I’ll be in the sling for a few days.”

“Okay,” Arthur answered. “I’m going to go call about your prescription, you get in the tub and relax, I’ll be back in five minutes. The button for the Jacuzzi is up by the faucets.” He left, pausing to turn down the lights with the dimmer switch. He thought lower light might help Merlin relax, too. 

His brain seemed to be running on two tracks. One track was genuinely concerned with getting Merlin clean and comfortable and into bed for a badly-needed rest. The other track was calculating that soft lights and warm water and nakedness were a good opportunity to get Merlin pliable, and into an “I wonder what it would be like…” mode.

He hoped he could stick to his resolve to not make a move on Merlin, but it wasn’t going to be easy. He had been aching to touch Merlin for weeks now, and now he had his chance.

*****

Arthur called an all- night pharmacy and arranged for the prescription to be delivered in the morning, and left a message at his office that he wouldn’t be in the next day. Then he went into the guest room to find some clothes for Merlin.

Merlin had picked up some of his things when he stopped by his house with Lance on Saturday, and they were neatly arranged in the dresser drawers. He found a pair of long shorts in a soft fleece material, and a clean The Decemberists t-shirt that said “The Hazards of Love.” _Tell me about it,_ he thought bitterly.

When he got back to the bathroom, Merlin was leaning back in the tub, his eyes closed and his face relaxed. Arthur took a moment to admire him, all long and lean and gleaming in the dim light. Then he walked over and knelt by the tub, saying, “How you doing?”  
Merlin turned his head and smiled at him, saying, “Good. The water feels great.”

Arthur could see the smooth planes of his body under the water, including his pretty cock bobbing just underneath the surface.  
Maybe it was tiredness, maybe it was a residual effect of the pain-killers, or maybe Merlin had been through so much that he had just let go of everything, but he seemed relaxed and unembarrassed.

Arthur picked up a washcloth and squeezed some shower gel on it, and moved to the end of the tub where Merlin’s feet were. He carefully washed each foot, rubbing the cloth between Merlin’s toes, then moved up to wash his slim calves, covered with dark fur. He washed around his knees, but didn’t trust himself to go higher, so he moved to Merlin’s hands and arms, giving them the same careful, gentle treatment. He rubbed carefully at Merlin’s chest, and then asked him to sit up so he could do his back.

Merlin’s smooth, wet skin felt like satin under Arthur’s hands. Merlin seemed to be almost in a trance-like state, his limbs heavy and unresisting. Arthur felt calm and relaxed, too, filled with a feeling of rightness, like he had done this before and would do it again.

He carefully put his hand on the back of Merlin’s head, cradling it as he gently ran the cloth over Merlin’s face, ignoring the clenching in his stomach when he saw the sutures just under Merlin’s hairline. Then he used his cupped hands to wet Merlin’s hair, and ran shampoo through it to the ends, using his fingertips to massage Merlin’s scalp until the boy was practically purring.  
Finally, he braced Merlin’s shoulders with his arm and dipped him back into the water like he was dipping him in a tango. He carefully worked his fingers through Merlin’s hair until all the suds were gone, then tipped him back up and said, “All done.”  
And then something surprising happened. Merlin was looking at him, not with the eyes of a child, but with eyes that were self-aware and just a little bit mocking. For an instant, Merlin looked like he knew every dirty thought that Arthur was having about him, and was receptive, even seductive.

But then the moment passed, and they were back to being the people they pretended to be to each other every day.  
Arthur opened the drain and stood up, picking up a towel and saying, “Here, let me help you up, it’s slippery.” And Merlin stood, Arthur’s hand on his arm, tall and more muscled than he looked in his clothes, with a man’s body and no shame. He stepped out of the tub, and Arthur wrapped one of the towels around his waist, tucking it into a loose knot. 

He said softly, “Better get dried off. Your clothes are on the counter.”

And if he had let his thumb dip into Merlin’s navel for a few seconds while he adjusted the towel, he didn’t think either one of them was going to bring it up.

*****

When Merlin walked out of the bathroom into Arthur’s bedroom, it took everything Arthur had in him not to just throw Merlin down on the bed and cover him with his body. Merlin wasn’t the only one who’d had a rough night, and in Arthur’s experience nothing helped him unwind like some passionate lovemaking.

But it was still three weeks from Merlin’s sixteenth birthday, and Arthur really didn’t want to go to prison if it were revealed that they’d had sex. For one thing, it would mean years of separation from Merlin. 

Besides, Merlin was hurt, and tired, and he wasn’t ready. _Maybe the bath will get him thinking about things,_ Arthur thought. _There had been that look, after all, and Merlin hadn’t shied away from his touch._

He studied the boy and saw that his eyes were drooping and he looked dead on his feet. He knew he should send him to sleep in the guest room, but instead he pulled the blankets back from half of the bed and said, “Why don’t you lie down for a minute? I’ll go get some ice for your shoulder. You can turn the TV on if you want. The remote is on the bedside table there.”

Arthur went to the kitchen and dumped some ice cubes in a Ziploc bag, then wrapped it in a kitchen towel. He’d had enough sports injuries to know that the protocol was a couple of minutes on and then a couple of minutes off. He got out one of the samples of pain pills the hospital had sent Merlin home with, and a big glass of water.

When he got back to the bedroom, Merlin was still sitting on the edge of the bed, his eyes closed. He looked young and vulnerable. He hadn’t bothered with the TV.

Arthur sat next to him and handed him the pill and the water, and Merlin obediently took it and swallowed it with half of the water. Arthur said, “Get under the covers and lie on your side, we should do a couple of rounds of the ice.” Merlin lay on his right side, and Arthur pulled the covers back up and rubbed the bag of ice over his shoulder. By the second time he took it off, Merlin was asleep.

Arthur dumped the ice cubes in the bathroom sink and came back to the bed. He kicked off his shoes and climbed into the bed next to Merlin, his brain providing rationalizations he didn’t really believe but that seemed good enough for the moment. _We both have our clothes on. It’s a big bed. He’s under the covers and I’m on top of them. I need to be close to him in case he needs something in the night. I need to be close to him…._

He lay on his side, too, curled protectively around Merlin’s body. He didn’t get too close, but he lay his arm across Merlin, and he fell asleep inhaling the scent of his shampoo in Merlin’s hair.

*****

_Merlin was lying on his back, his face whiter than a sheet of Geoffrey’s parchment and his jaw clenched. Gwaine was kneeling behind him, cradling his head and shoulders in his lap, and Leon and Lance were on either side of him._

_One of Merlin’s arms looked funny._

_Leon said, low, “It will have to be put back in the socket, Sire.”_

_Arthur nodded, and Elyan, who was hovering near the horses, rummaged in the packs until he found a spare tunic. He handed it to Arthur, looking worried._

_Arthur twisted the body of the shirt into a tube and knotted it a couple of times, leaving the sleeves hanging. He’d done this before, but this was **Merlin.** He had to get it right the first time._

_He looped the cloth around Merlin’s left shoulder, pulling it snug. Merlin opened his eyes and looked at him, his eyes dull with pain. He said softly, “Do it.”_

_Arthur looked at his knights, and said, “Ready?” They nodded, and Leon and Lance held Merlin tightly as Arthur stood and bent over Merlin, bracing his feet and pulling hard on the cloth. The joint snapped back into place as Merlin screamed, and then it was over and Gwaine was stroking Merlin’s hair, murmuring, “All done, you’re alright, you’re fine.”_

_Arthur collapsed back onto the ground, giddy with relief. They all sat there, silent except for Gwaine’s voice soothing Merlin, for five minutes or so. Then Arthur rose and said, “We need to get him back to Gaius.”_

_Arthur mounted his horse, and Leon and Lance carefully handed Merlin up to sit in front of him. Arthur wrapped an arm around Merlin and signaled the horse to move, as Merlin leaned back into him, limp as a rag doll. Arthur pulled him tighter and put his mouth next to Merlin’s ear._

_“We’ll be home soon, love,” he whispered._

*****

The first time Arthur woke up, it was pitch dark, and he had a cold, clear thought in his mind.

_I really wish Merlin and I were the same age in this life. It would be so much easier._

The second time he woke up, he realized that dawn was just breaking. He was closer to Merlin than he’d been before, and they’d shifted so Merlin was half- rolled onto Arthur. He seemed to be dreaming, and he said pleadingly, “Arthur…”

Arthur stroked Merlin’s back lightly until he quieted.

The third time he woke up, the sun was streaming through the windows, and he was alone.

*****

He realized he’d slept all night in his clothes in order to protect Merlin’s modesty, and smiled ruefully. _The things I do for that boy…_

He needed a shower, but first he needed to check on Merlin, make sure he was okay. And that he wasn’t freaked out by waking up in Arthur’s bed.

He went in the bathroom and took a leak, and splashed some cold water on his face. When he had the vivid dreams of another life with Merlin, it always left him with such a sense of _longing._ He remembered a time when being with Merlin was easy and effortless, when no one questioned their relationship because he was the king and he made the rules, when Hunith looked on him as a son-in-law.

It wasn’t going to be so easy this time around.

He hoped that Merlin would remember something soon, so that he wouldn’t be alone in all this craziness. 

But even if he didn’t, nothing was going to keep them apart.

*****

Merlin was sitting in the family room, tapping away at his keyboard. He was fully dressed and had gotten the sling on, and he looked better than he had the night before, although he was still pale and somewhat the worse for wear.

He looked up when Arthur walked in, then looked down quickly, embarrassed.

 _Not good,_ Arthur thought. But what he said was, “Hey, Merlin. How’s the arm?”

Merlin looked at him then, and said, “It hurts, but it’s better than yesterday.” His lovely lashes swept down again, and he said, “I’m sorry about last night. I didn’t mean to pass out on you; I should have gone back to my own room.”

“Not at all,” Arthur answered. “You had good reason to be tired. If anything, I should have left you there and gone to sleep in your room, but I was tired too. Didn’t mean to freak you out or anything.” The lie fell easily off his lips. 

Merlin turned pink, and said, “It’s no big deal; I just didn’t want to impose.”

_It was a big deal to me, and it was a big deal to you,_ Arthur thought. But he knew better than to say that. 

His phone chirped and he had a brief conversation, then turned it off and said, “The police will be here in an hour to take your statement.” 

__Merlin wasn’t happy about that. “I don’t know if I want to press charges.”_ _

__“Why not?” Arthur asked, fighting down the flare of anger he felt at Merlin’s words._ _

__Merlin tried to shrug, but winced when he moved his shoulder. “I don’t think they meant to hurt me as badly as they did. And I still have two years there after this year. Maybe prosecuting them would make things worse for me. And I don’t think it was bad enough to ruin their lives over.”_ _

__Arthur scoffed. “They’ll be in juvenile court, the worst that will happen is a year’s probation. It’s not like they’ll be doing hard time. You can’t let them get away with this.”_ _

__Merlin got angry then, his eyes blazing. “It’s my decision. It’s none of your business anyway.”_ _

__They stared each other down, and when Merlin finally broke eye contact and flushed Arthur said, quietly, “It’s not quite true that it’s your decision. You’re a minor, and it’s actually your mother’s decision. And even if you and she agreed not to prosecute, the police could proceed with the testimony of the teacher who saw them beating you, and with medical evidence of your injuries. The prosecutor doesn’t need your permission to proceed, and you could be subpoenaed to testify even if you didn’t want to do it.”_ _

__He let that sink in, and added, “And furthermore, everything about you is my business.”_ _

__Merlin looked shocked. Then he said hesitantly, “Why?”_ _

__“Because I care about you.”_ _

____

*****

Merlin’s eyes got even wider, and Arthur wondered what would happen if he just pulled him in and kissed him. Kissing surely didn’t count as a sex act for purposes of having sex with a minor, did it?

But then he remembered that the police were on their way, and that he shouldn’t be starting something that he’d already decided was off limits until Merlin turned sixteen.

“I have to get dressed before the police get here,” he announced. He turned away abruptly, hoping that Merlin wouldn’t misinterpret the reason he had to get away from him. He just looked so _fuckable,_ standing there all angles and shadows and sweet curving lips. 

If anything, the traces of pain and tiredness in his face made Arthur want him more, made him want to take him to bed and kiss away all the bad things, ministering to his body until he was sated and sleepy.

As he showered and dressed, reciting his personal mantra these days, _May 1st, May1st, May 1st,_ Arthur came to a realization. He couldn’t go from zero to sixty with Merlin, being an asexual mentor one day and a lover the next. 

It was time to step up his game with Merlin.

*****

Arthur dressed carefully, in well-cut slacks and a black shirt in a silky fabric that clung to his upper body nicely. He splashed on some cologne. He knew these things worked when he was out looking for some casual sex, he saw no reason they shouldn’t work with an impressionable teenager.

He’d decided he wanted to start touching Merlin more, too, casual touches that could be seen as friendly and not alarm Merlin, but that would feel good. He’d seen that Merlin blossomed when adults, particularly adult men, paid attention to him. That made sense, since he’d grown up with no one but Hunith around.

Arthur was happy to give Merlin his undivided attention.

*****

When the police arrived to interview him, Merlin was polite but detached at first, answering their questions about what had happened carefully. The officers were good at their job, starting slow by asking him how he was feeling, then moving on to the exact nature of his injuries and when he expected to recover.

Having gotten him talking, they moved on to the incident, asking him the time, where he was coming from, where he was going. He reluctantly identified the three boys who had assaulted him, although he was unable to say which injuries were caused by which person.

Things got more difficult when the officers asked him to go through the incident minute by minute. Merlin became agitated, plucking at the bottom of his t-shirt with nervous fingers and avoiding looking at anyone. He didn’t answer for some time, and finally Arthur prompted him quietly. “Merlin, I know this isn’t very pleasant to remember, or to talk about. But the sooner you answer their questions, the sooner this will be over.”

Merlin looked up then, and Arthur almost gasped at what he saw in his face. His beautiful, expressive face went through a transformation that was subtle enough that Arthur was sure the policemen didn’t see it. Arthur could see first pain, then resolution, and finally Merlin’s inner strength. He started talking, calmly and with dignity.

“I was on my way to the computer lab from the library, and there was no one else in the hallway. They surrounded me, and were saying stuff, the usual crap they throw at me. I’ve been hearing it from these guys since the first day of middle school. I tried walking away, and they grabbed me. They dumped out my backpack. My laptop was in it, I worked all last summer mowing lawns to get enough money to buy it. So I lost my temper and swore at them and called them a bunch of cowards for coming at me three against one, and then they started punching me. They knocked me on the ground, and I curled up to protect my stomach. And my groin.” There were spots of color high on his cheekbones when he said that, but he continued in the same calm voice. “I figured they wouldn’t hurt me all that badly; I’ve known them all a long time. None of us like each other, but I don’t think they’re evil or anything. I think they just egg each other on, and it makes them do things as a group that they wouldn’t do one on one.”

One of the police officers spoke, his tone kind but firm. “Son, you have to tell us what they said. The prosecutor will need to know to decide how to charge them.”

Merlin let out a long breath. Then he answered, his chin up and his eyes bright. “In the beginning, when we were kids, it was making fun of me being skinny, and my ears. I’ve heard every Dumbo joke under the sun. Then after a year or so it got to be about my mother never having been married. I don’t know where they picked that up; they must have heard it from their moms. Then it was jokes about how my father must have fled in panic when he got a good look at me. And then at some point they decided I must be gay, I don’t know why, except that I’m not a jock or butch enough for them or something. And the last year or two, that’s been the focus. They whisper it every time we pass in the hall. _Faggot, queer, cocksucker.”_ He shrugged, and then added, “What’s the word for that? Projection?”

Arthur said, deadpan, “I think the technical term is ‘small dick syndrome.’”

Everyone laughed at that, and the mood in the room lightened. But Merlin had one more thing to say. “Everyone keeps calling me a crime victim. But I’m not a victim. Their issues are their issues, and they have nothing to do with me.” He paused and repeated it in a firm voice. “I’m not a victim. I want you to put that in your report.”

The officers thanked Merlin for his cooperation, and said that he would be informed if he had to testify in court. Arthur walked them to the door, and when he came back he sat down next to Merlin and tentatively lifted a hand, looking into Merlin’s eyes for permission to touch him. He saw no resistance, and cupped the side of his face gently, saying, “I’m proud of you.” Merlin turned his cheek into the embrace for a few seconds, his face soft and warm against Arthur’s palm, but then he pulled away and said flippantly, “Oh, that was a piece of cake. It will be a lot scarier facing my mother.”

“Oh, man,” Arthur groaned. “You are so right. She’ll probably flay us both alive.”

*****

_After the first kiss on the floor of Arthur’s chambers, Arthur had shakily pulled away, and tried to send Merlin back to sleep in his narrow little bed in the spare room off Gaius’s workroom._

_Merlin wiped his reddened, wet mouth with the back of his hand and started arguing. Arthur sighed. If there was anything his Merlin was good at (and when had he started thinking of him as **his** Merlin?) it was arguing._

_“What? Why?” Merlin was outraged. “It was just getting good! And you were enjoying it, I know you were. I could feel that iron rod pressing into my leg.”_

_Arthur didn’t waste his breath denying it. “Of course I was enjoying it. You were beautiful like that, all wild underneath me. (Had he intended to say that?) But you’re inexperienced, and I don’t want you to do this unless you’re really sure. If you go away now, we can revisit this with cooler heads, and I’ll be certain it’s what you want.”_

_“I’ll be certain it’s what you want,” Merlin mimicked angrily. “You ridiculous, prattish clotpole! For your information, I’m a grown man, only a year younger than you are. I know what I want, and I want you! You don’t get to make all the decisions, or wrap yourself up in some kind of misguided nobility, and pretend you don’t want this as much as I do.”_

_He was magnificent, his eyes flashing, drawn up to his full height, which Arthur regretfully had to acknowledge was about an inch taller than his own._

_Didn’t matter, though. He could take Merlin any day of the week. And he would, if he didn’t stop yelling at his prince._

_Merlin was getting wound up, and Arthur distinctly heard the word “dollophead” before Merlin announced angrily, “You may be in charge outside of this room, and in this room for most things, but in terms of what we do in bed, we’re equals.”_

_There was only one thing for it, and that was to shut him up with another kiss. He kissed him, hard and deep, until he felt Merlin relax and melt into his arms. And then he walked him backwards to the bed and threw him down on it. The time for hesitation was past._

_Clearly, Merlin was feeling frustrated. A good fucking would do him a world of good._

*****

Arthur was acutely conscious of the fact that he only had a few more hours with Merlin. It was already eleven by the time the police left, and Hunith was expected by mid-afternoon. He knew what he wanted to do with those precious hours, but he knew what he was allowed to do, and the two didn’t match up.

The pharmacy delivered the pills, and Arthur was pleased that Merlin took one immediately. He’d started looking more in pain as the morning progressed, and Arthur hoped the pill would help. 

It was odd seeing Merlin with his arm in a sling, and it made Arthur angry all over again. And it made him remember something he had to do.

He and Merlin were back in the den, and Merlin was reading a paperback book that he needed to finish for his English class. He put his hand on Merlin’s neck and let it rest there, mindful of his resolution to touch Merlin more, and said, “Will you be okay for ten minutes? I have a business call I have to make.” Merlin rolled his eyes, saying, “Yes, I imagine I can survive for ten minutes on my own.”

Arthur kept his hand on Merlin’s neck for another few seconds, his index finger lightly stroking the knob where Merlin’s neck and spine met, and said, “I’ll be back in a few minutes, then, you miserable ingrate.”

He was rewarded with a smile as he went into his home office and closed the door.

*****

His call to the senior partner at the law firm Pendragon Limited used for non- banking matters was short and emphatic.

“I want a trust account set up for Merlin Emrys by the end of the day. Make me and Hunith Emrys the co-trustees; we’ll sign the paperwork tomorrow. Then call the parents of these three students at Merlin’s high school.” Arthur rattled off the names and addresses of the three youths who had attacked Merlin. “Tell them that among the three families, they are to contribute a hundred and fifty thousand dollars to the trust fund within five business days. I don’t care who pays what, if some are less well-off they can pay less, it’s their problem how they divide it up. But that’s the amount they’re going to pay for hurting Merlin, and if that money isn’t on deposit by the deadline, sue their sorry asses for every dime they have.”

He cut off the lawyer’s stream of assurances and flattery, saying, “I have to go. I know you’ll take care of this.”

*****

He had hoped to get Merlin out for a walk that morning, since he’d been cooped up in the ER for so long the night before. But when he was finished making the phone call, he found Merlin asleep on the couch with the book fallen to the floor, his head crooked at an awkward angle.

 _Poor little one,_ he thought. _He probably didn’t sleep well last night, and then the pain pill knocked him out._  
He quietly sat down on the couch next to Merlin, and eased his arm around Merlin so carefully that the boy didn’t wake up. He pulled him closer, so that his head was cradled on Arthur’s chest. He knew the door was locked, and he had only a short period of time to have Merlin to himself before his worried mother claimed him.

He stroked Merlin’s cheek, and ran a finger down the soft stubble on Merlin’s jaw.

_Not much longer, sweetheart, until I make love to you._

*****

Merlin was pretty deeply asleep, his body slumped into Arthur’s, and Arthur took the opportunity to look his fill. He looked at Merlin all the time, of course, but he had to not be too obvious about it when other people were around. And he didn’t want to make Merlin uncomfortable.

But now, in the last quiet interlude he might have with Merlin for some time, he savored the sleeping boy in his arms. He noticed how Merlin’s forearms had soft black hair on them, and how delicate his wrists were. He looked down at Merlin’s head cradled against his chest, and noted how soft and springy his hair was. He traced along his cheekbone and very lightly outlined one of those ridiculous, lovely ears. 

He let his thoughts roam, too, letting himself go places he usually kept off limits because he had to concentrate on not losing control.

He thought he should probably wait a while after he first invited Merlin into his bed to actually fuck him. They could go slow; he’d proved he was good at waiting, and he didn’t want to create any bad memories for Merlin. There were lots of other things they could do. Maybe he’d let Merlin top the first few times, get him used to sex that way. 

It was pretty exciting to think about. For all he knew, Merlin had never been kissed, let alone had his cock stroked or his balls sucked into a hot mouth or his hole played with or any of the other things Arthur planned to do with him. The idea of being Merlin’s first was a huge turn-on for him. He’d never been with a virgin before, and the idea of Merlin blushing and trembling and being awed by the newness of being touched made him hard as a crowbar.

He’d have Merlin begging for it all the time, he knew he would. He remembered what it was like to be a horny teenager. And once he showed Merlin the joys of physical love, there would be no turning back. 

He thought about their future, too.

He supposed they’d have to keep the relationship a secret from Hunith until Merlin was at least eighteen. He would legally be an adult then, and able to make his own decisions about where to live. If Arthur could have his way, Merlin would move in tomorrow, but that wasn’t realistic.

He’d have to think of a plausible explanation for Merlin to be at his condo during the week. Merlin was good with computers; maybe he could give him a job installing software or something like that. Arthur was good with computers, too, and didn’t really need any help, but Hunith didn’t have to know that.

Merlin going to a university would be a problem, too, but there were lots of fine schools in the city, or close by. He could come up with a good reason why Merlin couldn’t go to a school more than a hundred miles away, a plausible reason that Hunith would accept. Or maybe by then they’d go public as a couple.

He drifted into a pleasant reverie, thinking about traveling and showing Merlin the world. Eventually they’d be legally married, of course. 

Merlin was his, and would be by his side for the rest of their lives.

“I’ll be right by your side, like I always am, protecting you.” Merlin had been so earnest when he’d said that. And events had proved him right.

But in this life, their only job was to love each other. And at least until he grew up, Merlin was the one who needed protecting.  
God help anyone who tried to take Merlin from him.

*****

Merlin slept for an hour, and then Arthur got a phone call from Hunith, saying she was parked downstairs and was on her way up to the condo to get her son. Merlin didn’t awaken when Arthur dug in his pocket for his phone, but when he’d rung off Arthur regretfully woke him, sliding his fingers through Merlin’s hair one last time before he gently shook him awake.

Merlin straightened up and pulled away from Arthur, and the look in his eyes was so clear and guileless and open that Arthur couldn’t help himself. He leaned in and kissed Merlin, a mere brush of his lips against Merlin’s.

It was the way he might kiss his sister, or Gwen. Affectionate. Sweet.

Chaste.

It took all of Arthur’s willpower to leave Merlin and go and open the door for Hunith.

*****

Once Merlin was gone, Arthur flopped down on his bed, an arm over his eyes, letting himself indulge in the deep feeling of loss. _It wasn’t right for Merlin to leave him. Didn’t he know that? And how would he be able to sleep without Merlin under his roof?_

He lay there for half an hour, sick with longing, running through all what had happened after the kiss. Merlin had looked back at him fearlessly, but it was hard to tell whether the kiss had been welcome or not. And then Hunith had been there, and there was no time to discuss how Merlin felt about it.

Hunith had had to reach up to hug her tall son, and she had held him for a good long time. She’d said simply, “I’m so glad you’re okay.” Then she’d turned to Arthur, thanking him profusely for staying in the emergency room and letting Merlin stay with him.  
Arthur felt guilty when he heard her expressions of gratitude. He’d done it because taking care of Merlin was his duty and his pleasure, and he needed no thanks for it.

And he couldn’t exactly share with her the fact that he was intent on seducing her not-quite- sixteen-year-old son.

So he smiled and disclaimed and told her to take another day off to take care of Merlin. Then he carried Merlin’s backpack down to the car and held the door open for Hunith and said, “Goodbye, Merlin, feel better soon” with false cheerfulness, and waved at them as they pulled away.

And he felt his heart leap when Merlin looked back over his shoulder at him, his expression soft and speculative and self-aware. They held each other’s gazes until Hunith made a turn in the parking lot, and then Merlin was gone.

Merlin had known what that kiss had been about. Arthur was sure of it. 

After a while, he got up from the bed and went into the office. He could still get four or five hours of work in, and there was no point in hanging around in a place that felt lifeless without Merlin there. 

Empires didn’t run themselves.

That night, he slept with the Arsenal sweatshirt he had loaned Merlin on his pillow. He hadn’t washed it after Merlin had given it back, and it smelled like the boy who owned his soul.

*****

He was at his desk the next morning when Hunith called, and he played the part of a concerned but not overly interested older friend of Merlin’s, inquiring politely how Merlin was feeling.

She told him that he was still sore, but getting better, and that she thought he’d be back in school the next day.

Arthur wasn’t too worried about that. The boys who had hurt Merlin were still on suspension, and he doubted they’d bother Merlin again now that their parents and the school were involved. Bullying thrived best in the dark.

And besides, now that the considerable clout of Pendragon Limited was involved, not to mention Arthur’s personal warning to them, he doubted that they would be any problem. It would probably be good for Merlin to get back to his usual pursuits; it would keep him from brooding about the incident, and Arthur knew he had a lot of friends at school. 

There was one kid in particular that Merlin had mentioned, Will, and even though Arthur was somewhat jealous of the way Merlin casually described Will as “my best friend since forever”, he wasn’t so far gone that he didn’t recognize that Merlin needed friends his own age.

He wasn’t going to mention the trust account to Hunith until it was finalized. But he did suggest to her that she go to the school the next day and raise hell. He added, “I think you should take Lance with you. He was very helpful in dealing with the police and the parents the night this happened. And I want you to have some backup in case they try to minimize this or bullshit you.”

Hunith agreed, and they left it that she and Lance would meet at the school, and that she would be at work the next day following the meeting.

With that settled, Arthur had several items of Merlin-related business that needed attention.

He called his lawyer and asked about the status of the trust account for Merlin and the payments. He was told that the account was open and that the $150,000.00 would be deposited by the end of the day. Arthur had further instructions.

“This is confidential, of course. Send a runner over here to pick up a check; I’m going to match what the parents contributed, out of my personal account. But as far as Hunith Emrys is concerned, the whole $300,000.00 is coming from the parents. If she asks any questions, tell her that the parents had an umbrella insurance policy that covers intentional torts. Once the funds are all in place, you can call her and give her the good news that Merlin has a nice nest egg. Are we clear on that?”

The attorney assured him that he was, and Arthur smiled ironically at how easy it was to obtain the services of a discreet and competent attorney when your family owned a good chunk of the city. Then he moved to the next call on his list.

He called the interior decorator he’d retained and told her to meet him at the condo that night with her design boards and samples. He planned to have two rooms redecorated by the time Merlin spent the night again, and he’d told her that he expected her to have the appropriate craftspeople in place to start the job the next day.

Finally, he called the Personnel Office and asked the head of the department to come to his office. When she arrived, he said, “Who do we have working on opening that new branch in San Francisco?”

She rattled off four names, calmly and professionally, keeping her curiosity to herself. He answered, “Devon Killinger, he’s in his sixties, right?”

“He’s sixty-four,” she said smoothly. “He hopes to retire in six months.”

“I think we need to transition someone else onto the team, to prepare for his retirement. I’d like to find a management job for Hunith Emrys; I realize that I’ve been selfish in keeping her as my secretary when she has so much potential. I think she’d be a good addition to that team; she’s very bright and organized and good with people, and she’s devoted to Pendragon Limited.”

“Whatever you think is best, Mr. Pendragon,” was her response. 

Arthur knew what he wanted. “Please prepare a budget and salary proposal as soon as possible to add her to that team. I’ll review it, and then you and I and the team leader can meet with her to make the offer. I’d like to increase her salary by about twenty-five percent, to compensate for all the travel she’ll have to do.” 

He smiled to himself as his employee left. Hunith would love the new job, he hoped, and it suited his purposes to have her away a couple of weeks a month.

Things were falling into place nicely.

*****

Arthur had some disappointing news from Hunith when she came into work late on Wednesday morning, after the meeting at Merlin’s school. She told him that she wanted to keep Merlin close to home for a while, and that he wouldn’t be coming to Pendragon Limited for the internship for the rest of the week. She wanted him to rest and not strain his shoulder, and Arthur understood that. And he empathized with how scared she must have been by her only child being bullied and beaten at a place where he should have been safe.

It didn’t mean he had to like it, though.

He asked her how the meeting went, and she told him that the principal had seemed genuinely regretful and promised to place more emphasis on an anti-bullying campaign. And with tears in her eyes, she continued, “I know you were the one who had the idea for the trust fund for Merlin, and I want to thank you. Merlin is very bright, and I know he would have gotten a scholarship to a very good school. He still might. But it’s nice to know that we don’t have to depend on that now.”

Arthur lied smoothly. “It was really the parents who realized that Merlin should be compensated for the abuse Merlin suffered at their sons’ hands.” He continued, “I just hope those boys learned that it isn’t okay to beat up on someone just because he’s different.”

He hesitated just a bit before saying, “Do you think Merlin will be back next week, then?” He tried to keep his voice from catching as he said, “Everyone misses him.”

She looked anxious. “I hope he will, but I don’t want to push him. He has a doctor’s appointment on Friday, and we’ll see if he’s going to need physical therapy. If he does, it will have to be after school. But if he doesn’t , he can come back next week.” She smiled at him, sweet and maternal, and added, “He loves coming here. And he appreciates all the time you’ve taken with him, helping him learn about the company and the work world.”

Arthur smiled right back, making sure to maintain eye contact so he would look sincere. “It was my pleasure.”

*****

It was difficult for Arthur, being without Merlin for that week. He thought about calling him, but didn’t want to push. If Merlin needed space to sort out what had happened to him, and what had happened between them, he would give it to him.

As long as it didn’t go on for too long.

He kept thinking of Merlin in the bath, so trusting and relaxed. And of sleeping with Merlin’s back to his front, pulling him in so that his body sheltered Merlin’s slighter frame even in sleep. He thought of the kiss, and of Merlin’s searching expression the last time he saw him, being driven away from their time alone.

The days he had spent with Merlin felt timeless, like the two of them had been in a cocoon. He craved that feeling again, the feeling that nothing mattered but the two of them and their wants and needs.

By Friday he felt like he was going crazy, desperate for some word from Merlin. He got it indirectly, and through Lance.

Lance came by for lunch, and casually mentioned that Merlin was feeling a lot better.

“You saw him?” Arthur said, the words coming out sharper than he intended.

Lance didn’t seem to notice. “Yeah, Gwen and I stopped by his house last night. We thought he might need some company, and I wanted to make sure he was okay. He looks good; he said he misses being here.”

Arthur fought down the wave of jealousy that engulfed him when he realized that Lance had been able to see Merlin when he hadn’t. He tried to focus on Lance’s next words, which held promise.

“You know how we talked about doing a fencing demo for Merlin sometime? He asked about that, and I told him that I’d check with you, see if we could do it tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow is fine,” Arthur answered, a warm glow spreading in his belly from knowing that Merlin had asked for this. He couldn’t be feeling too freaked out, which had been Arthur’s concern. They agreed that Lance would pick Merlin up Saturday morning and the three of them would go out for breakfast, and then on to the fencing club.

 _Better to have Lance pick Merlin up,_ Arthur reasoned. _If Merlin had two older male friends, one of them married and with a baby on the way, Hunith would be less suspicious of Arthur’s interest in Merlin._

*****

Arthur had another one of his dreams that night, the dreams that he loved because he and Merlin were together.  


This time they were older, older than Arthur was now. They looked like they were close to fifty. Both of them had silver in their closed trimmed beards, but except for a few lines around his eyes Merlin looked as slender and boyish as ever. 

_He was sitting at a table, a quill in his hand, studying some papers. Merlin was seated at his right hand, cracking walnuts with his bare hands and dumping the nutmeats into a bowl._

_His dream self looked up, a frown on his face but a fond light in his eyes. “Mer- **lin,** ” he said, drawing out the second syllable the way he did when he was feigning annoyance with his former manservant, now his court sorcerer and First Adviser. _

_And his consort, but that was an unofficial title._

_Merlin looked at him with a gleam in his eyes. “What?”_

_“Could you be any more annoying? Or any noisier?”_

_Merlin picked up one of the uncracked walnuts and tossed it from palm to palm, one corner of his mouth quirking up. “Oh, I can be _a lot_ noisier. As well you know, my liege.” _

_Arthur took that as a challenge, and rose quickly, leaning over Merlin and fisting the front of his shirt aggressively. He kissed him roughly and deeply, and waited until Merlin was making little whimpering sounds before pulling back and saying huskily, “If you are going to tempt me away from the important work of running the kingdom by bragging about what you do in bed, you’d better be prepared to follow through.”_

_“Oh, I am, Arthur. Always prepared.” Merlin’s eyes had gone dark and hungry, and he pulled Arthur’s hand down to his crotch to feel his hard cock._

_This blatant provocation had Arthur dragging Merlin to the big bed in seconds flat, unbuttoning Merlin’s fine linen shirt. (When Arthur had become king, he had personally thrown each and every one of Merlin’s neckerchiefs in the roaring fire of the fireplace, while Merlin watched. And then he had forbidden all of the castle seamstresses to make Merlin any more of the damn things. Merlin could have magicked up some new ones, of course, but Arthur probably would have burned those too. And it was unbecoming to the dignity of his new position to squabble with Arthur as if they were schoolchildren. At least about this.)_

_Then Merlin’s boots had come off, and his stockings, and then his trousers and undergarments were yanked off in one smooth motion._

_Merlin moaned as Arthur rubbed a calloused thumb against the spot right behind his balls, just the way Merlin liked, licking into his mouth the whole time._

_And watching the dream, watching the other Arthur pour oil on his fingers and fuck Merlin with them before he rolled Merlin on top of him and impaled him on his hard shaft, Arthur knew that these two loved each other with the same intensity that he loved Merlin now._

_It was inevitable. Merlin would feel it soon._

*****

Arthur got to the restaurant early, knowing that he was probably blowing his cool by appearing overeager, but not even caring. He was rewarded when Lance and Merlin showed up, and Merlin gave him a dazzling smile from the doorway.

Arthur could feel his tense shoulders relax as he exhaled in relief. He gave Merlin a smile back, a somewhat shaky one, as he thought, _he missed me as much as I missed him._

When they arrived at the table, Arthur stood. He wanted to hug Merlin, but thought he probably shouldn’t in front of Lance, so he settled for a handshake. Maybe he gripped Merlin’s hand for a few seconds too long, but Lance didn’t have to know that. And when he let go, he let his thumb slide under Merlin’s wrist to feel the delicate skin over the veins. He’d had fantasies of kissing Merlin there, feeling the pulse of Merlin’s lifeblood under his lips.

_One day. One day, he would kiss Merlin there, and over every other square inch of his body._

He checked to see if Merlin had noticed the caress. He had, if the pink tips of his ears were any indication. Arthur loved how sensitive Merlin was to small touches. It boded well for him to be an apt pupil in Arthur’s bed.

They ordered their food, and Arthur did a quick analysis of Merlin’s appearance and mood. He looked a little thinner, if that was possible, and still a bit pale. And he was less chatty than he usually was when the three of them were together.

Arthur asked what the doctor had said, and Merlin reported that the shoulder was healing well, and that physical therapy wouldn’t be necessary unless his arm didn’t continue to heal. He said the arm didn’t hurt anymore unless he moved it wrong, and then he added, “I haven’t been sleeping well, though.”

Lance said something sympathetic, and Arthur said, “That’s unfortunate. Any idea why?” Merlin looked straight at him and said, “No idea,” at the same time as Arthur felt sock-clad toes caressing his ankle.

_Why, you little flirt…._

Merlin had been wearing loafers when he walked in, Arthur remembered. And apparently he’d slipped one of them off and decided to play footsie with Lance _sitting right there._

But then Arthur remembered that he had started it. So he couldn’t really protest too much about being given a taste of his own medicine. But this wasn’t the time or place.

He shook his head infinitesimally at Merlin, who smiled a sly smile and ducked his head.

_Hmmm…. Maybe one of the things Merlin needed to learn from him was that payback can be a bitch…._

Arthur was relieved when Lance decided to change the subject, or at least he was until he realized what Lance’s new topic was. Handsome, noble, clueless Lance said “What happened to your ring, Merlin?”

Merlin flushed and fiddled with his silverware, and finally said, “My hand was swollen, so they cut it off. I could buy a new one, but while I was at home I did some more reading, and now I’m not so sure I want to be associated with that cause. It seems kind of misogynistic; a lot of the emphasis is on girls saving their virginity as a promise to their fathers, like the father owns their sexuality or something. And they’re definitely anti-choice, and my mom always raised me to be pro-choice, and me and my mom are liberals. So maybe that movement wasn’t a good fit for me and...”

Merlin was talking faster and getting agitated, and Lance and Arthur exchanged a quick “who wound _him_ up?” look. Lance said “It’s okay, Merlin, I don’t need all the details,” at the same time as Arthur said kindly, “Take a breath, Merlin.”

And Merlin concluded, “So I might abstain from sex until I’m married, or I might not, or I might never get married, or I might decide I want to have sex in a respectful and loving relationship, or I might even decide to have sex with lots of people, as long as I don’t hurt anyone. I haven’t decided yet.” He looked up, half-embarrassed and half-defiant.

And Arthur’s heart swelled with pride to see his beautiful, smart, sweet boy thinking for himself.

*****

The breakfast orders came shortly after Merlin finished his declaration of independence, and he dug into his food like a starving man. Lance tactfully changed the subject to local fencing news and gossip, and Arthur gave Merlin half of his home fries, thinking ruefully how great it would be to have the metabolism of a teenager again.

Neither Lance nor Arthur fenced competitively anymore, although Lance coached a group of eight to ten year olds who had been brought into the club as part of a community outreach program. Arthur fenced primarily for exercise these days, and infrequently at that. He worked such long days at Pendragon Limited that his hobby had been neglected. 

But if Merlin was interested in learning how to fence, Lance’s services weren’t needed. Arthur would be more than happy to teach him.

He and Lance had always gotten a lot of attention from the ladies when they’d been on teams together in school. In fact, they’d gotten laid a lot as a result of their participation, and in their youth had joked about clashing swords being the best way to get a girl’s panties off. They’d even ended up in the same bed with a pretty fencing fan on an occasion or two, but that wasn’t a story for Merlin’s young ears…

He knew the two of them looked good in competition, and he’d often been told that he looked most at home in a fencing match, on the attack, his footwork impeccable and his arm moving at lightning speed as he attacked his opponents as fiercely as though a kingdom was at stake. 

He seemed to be born to hold a sword in his hands, for reasons that seemed more obvious now than they had in the past.  
He planned to whip Lance’s ass that day, and impress Merlin in the process.

They finished eating and walked over to the fencing club, Merlin occasionally jostling into Arthur in a way that he probably thought was subtle. Arthur would have to have a talk with Merlin about being careful in public. He loved Lance, but he had no intention of letting him in on his plans for a future with Merlin. Eventually they’d come out as a couple; he had no intention of hiding away his relationship with Merlin forever, like it was a dirty secret. But that would have to wait until Merlin was twenty or so.

It pained him to take this sweet, open boy and make him into a co-conspirator, but the age difference was just too big to be open about until Merlin was older. He was thirty-six, a full twenty years older than Merlin, old enough to be his father. Society would be quick to condemn that.

Arthur didn’t give a fuck about society.

*****

The club was in a renovated Victorian mansion, and the public rooms looked like an old-fashioned men’s club, all leather and dark wood. Arthur was a major supporter of the club, and he was always treated like a prince there.

The training rooms were state-of- the art, and were quite busy on a Saturday morning. Arthur chose one of the smaller rooms for their match, and he and Lance went into the locker room to change into their gear. Merlin sat in the visitor’s area to observe the match, and Arthur took note of his bright eyes and flushed cheeks.

_He always did enjoy watching me train._

Modern fencing is done with electronic scoring, with a push-button at the end of the foil and a conductive material in the protective vest covering the target zone. When one of the fencers scored a hit with sufficient force, a light and a buzzer went off on a scoring panel. They had agreed to play six bouts of five points each, which would be a good workout.

Arthur and Lance faced each other across the strip and saluted, then lowered their face masks and began the match.

Lance won the first two bouts fairly easily, since he had the advantage of more practice in recent months. Arthur let him take the lead, parrying his advances and taking his measure. They’d always been evenly matched, and when Arthur had been captain of their high school and university fencing teams, he had always been glad to have Lancelot at his side. _My first knight,_ he thought with affection.

By the third bout, Arthur was ready to get more aggressive. They knew each other’s moves, and as they settled into the match, it became an elaborate dance, one they had done many times before. As they moved up and down the strip, feinting and parrying and lunging, Arthur forgot that he had agreed to this match partly to impress Merlin and partly to remind Lance which of them was the alpha and which was the beta.

He began fencing for the sheer joy of it, the challenge of meeting a worthy opponent, the stretch and slight burn in his arms and legs that felt so good, and the adrenaline rush that came from being in a battle, albeit a mock one. He could tell that Lance was enjoying himself, too, and it was great to have that old feeling of camaraderie back. Lance’s eyes sparkled behind the face protector, and he radiated good-natured competitiveness.

Arthur was competitive, too, but not quite so good-natured. He’d always had more of the killer instinct than Lance.

Arthur won the third bout, Lance the fourth, and Arthur the fifth and sixth. Even though they were tired, they agreed to play a seventh bout, because a tie was like kissing your sister. And Arthur won that one handily.

Lance saluted him again, and Arthur responded, and then they shook hands and walked back to Merlin, pulling off their headgear as they went. They were flushed and sweaty with the exercise, and laughing and teasing each other as they went, and Merlin was on his feet, applauding them with a huge grin on his face. Lance reached out and ruffled Merlin’s hair, and Arthur was pleased to have Merlin looking happy and carefree again after the awful events at school.

They were walking to the locker room when Lance’s cell phone rang. They heard him say, “Are you okay?” and “Just wait for me, I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”

He turned to them and said, “Sorry, I have to run. Gwen had car trouble. She was meeting a friend for lunch, and taking the expressway home. She called road service, but I don’t like her being there by herself on the side of the road. Arthur, can you get Merlin home?”

“Sure, no problem,” Arthur answered calmly. “Go and rescue Gwen.” Gwen was four months pregnant, and Lance had always been overprotective even before the pregnancy. “Give me a call later today, let me know how she’s doing.”

Overprotectiveness was another thing Arthur understood better these days.

Lance rushed off to the locker room to get changed while Merlin asked Arthur excited questions about some of the maneuvers he and Lance had used. Five minutes later, he was back in street clothes, his gear bag over his shoulder. He gave each of them a quick hug, and then he was gone.

The small practice room they’d chosen had its own equally small locker room, and Arthur expected that no one but them would be using it. He usually showered at the club after a workout, and he said to Merlin, “Keep me company?” Merlin nodded, and Arthur could see the hero worship in his eyes.

_Letting Merlin watch him fence had been a good idea._

He got out of his white fencing outfit, which involved several layers of protective clothing. Merlin asked, a little breathless, “Can I help you get that stuff off?”

Arthur nodded, and Merlin undid the Velcro on his jacket and loosened the gorget from around his throat, his fingers brushing against Arthur’s hot skin. The various items of clothing came off until Arthur was wearing nothing but his knickers, and he stripped those off quickly, realizing that while he had seen Merlin naked, the opposite was not true.

He picked up a couple of towels, saying gruffly, “Wait here. I’ll be quick,” as he headed for the shower. He had been truthful when he’d told Merlin that he’d been in plenty of locker rooms, and he’d also had his fair share of sexual partners. But he couldn’t recall ever before feeling the delicious tingle on his skin that he felt knowing that Merlin was watching him walk away. 

He lathered up quickly, letting the hot water soothe his aching muscles. He’d have to practice more if he was going to continue to beat Lance; a thirty-six year old body couldn’t get by on drive alone. He was washing his hair, his arms raised, when he looked up and saw Merlin standing just outside of the open-doored shower stall, his pupils blown and his lips parted. His gaze was on Arthur’s half-hard cock, but when Arthur made an involuntary exclamation Merlin raised his eyes and locked them with Arthur’s. 

Merlin’s voice was low and taut as he said, “You’re so beautiful.”

*****

Arthur could feel his dick springing to attention at Merlin’s words, but he preferred to not be naked when they finished this conversation. They were now within ten days of Merlin’s birthday. He knew that they had both been teasing and pushing a little, or maybe a lot, but he had set Merlin turning sixteen as the bright line that had to be crossed before he could touch him.

He had an idea, though, a really delicious idea, and it was just possible he might be able to pull it off. It depended on how much Merlin trusted him, and whether he had tipped from hero worship to actually being in love.

He finished rinsing the shampoo from his hair, and turned off the water, saying casually, “Hand me the towels, will you?” He wrapped one of them around his waist and scrubbed at his arms and legs and face with the other one, Merlin watching him the whole time.  
He walked back to the locker area, Merlin trailing uncertainly behind him.

Merlin sat on a wooden bench and watched hungrily as Arthur got dressed. When he was done, Arthur sat about a foot away from Merlin and took his hand, saying gently, “We need to talk.”

Merlin said bravely, “I was hoping for more than talk.”

Arthur chuckled at that, but continued, “Merlin, you have to tell me what you want. If you can’t tell me, you aren’t ready for it.”  
Merlin said simply, “I want you.”

Arthur felt a wave of tenderness rush through him. “I want you, too, Merlin. But until you turn sixteen, I can’t do certain things. The law basically says no penetrative sex, and no touching you below the waist.”

“I wouldn’t tell,” Merlin said, biting his lip.

“I know you wouldn’t. But someone else might find out, and then I could go to prison, and we’d be separated. I couldn’t bear to be separated from you, I just couldn’t.”

Merlin was stubborn. “But I know what I want. I know what I want just as much as I will in ten days. It’s stupid. And it isn’t fair.”

Arthur suppressed a smile. _The eternal complaint of the adolescent- it isn’t fair._

“Maybe not. But the line has to be drawn somewhere. And your birthday is so close.” He paused, and added, “I remember being your age, hard all the time, just _wanting_ so much, so desperate for a touch where I needed it. Is that how you feel, Merlin?”

Merlin’s frustration was clear as he nodded, too shy to speak. Arthur pitched his voice low and coaxing. “Do you understand what I’m saying? The law says I can’t touch you in certain ways. But it doesn’t say that you can’t touch yourself. Would you like to touch yourself, while I watched?” 

Merlin’s pale cheeks turned a lovely rosy pink, and he shook his head, embarrassment and desire warring on his face.

Arthur played his trump card. “It would make me very happy if you tried. You don’t have to get undressed, you could just unzip your fly. Could you try, for me?”

He saw Merlin hesitate, and added, “Please?”

Merlin sighed, then let his inhibitions go. Arthur held his breath as Merlin’s long fingers moved to the top button of his jeans. He seemed to gain confidence as he pushed the remaining buttons through their holes, and he was reaching for the flap of his y-fronts when Arthur said, “Just a minute, love.”

Arthur rose and went to the locker room door and locked it. There was no point in taking chances. He sat next to Merlin again, not quite close enough to touch, and said, “Go on then. Not too fast.” 

 

Merlin pulled his penis out, his hand shaking a little, and gave it a tentative stroke. Arthur smiled, and teased, “Come on, Merlin. I know you know how to do this.” Merlin took his cock in a firmer grip and gave it a couple more strokes, harder this time. Arthur admired how good it looked, his beautiful hand on his thick red cock, and said softly, “Look at me, sweetheart.”

Merlin kept his eyes on Arthur’s until the very last second, when he came in his hand, moaning Arthur’s name.

*****

Arthur would have loved to lick Merlin’s hand clean, but he thought that might seem like illegal participation, so he handed Merlin the towel he’d just dried off with and watched with a soft smile on his face as Merlin wiped off his hand and tucked himself back into his jeans.

They still hadn’t touched since they entered the locker room, but Arthur leaned closer to Merlin and breathed into his ear, “I can’t wait to taste you.” Merlin flushed adorably, and Arthur rose and said, “Time to get you home.”

Merlin looked at the bulge in Arthur’s jeans and said made an awkward hand gesture. “You didn’t… I could…”

A corner of Arthur’s mouth quirked up as he studied Merlin’s face, seeing both self-consciousness and determination there. He was looking forward to coaxing Merlin into being able to talk more frankly about sex, about what he wanted and what he needed. But this wasn’t the time. He said, “It’s okay, Merlin, we need to get going.”

“But I want to touch you. It must be frustrating…” Merlin waved his hand vaguely in Arthur’s direction again, “Let me do it.”

Arthur was tempted, but he’d gotten this far down the path toward Merlin’s birthday, and he wasn’t going to screw it up now. He shook his head, and said, “Merlin, I’ve been hard most of the time since I met you. I’m used to it. And you touching me at this point is the same as me touching you, in the eyes of the law. It’s fine. C’mon, let’s go.”

He picked up his bag and turned toward the door, but Merlin had other ideas. Just as he was about to turn the lever to unlock the door, Merlin grabbed him and spun him around, pushing him against the door. Arthur was so surprised that he didn’t resist at first, and his head thunked against the solid wood of the door as Merlin gripped his upper arms and smashed their mouths together.

What Merlin lacked in finesse he made up for in enthusiasm, and Arthur let his gym bag fall to the floor and slid his arms around Merlin’s waist. _Just for a minute, only a minute_ he told himself, but the next thing he knew Merlin was thrusting his leg between his thighs and pushing an eager tongue in his mouth. It would probably kill him, but he had to stop this.

He pulled his mouth away, and said, “Merlin, stop!” He looked into Merlin’s eyes, sparkling with lust and determination, and then Merlin said quite deliberately, “Make me,” and angled in for another kiss.

Merlin was no weakling, but he wasn’t fully grown yet, and Arthur had the advantage in weight and strength. He slid his hands under Merlin’s armpits, careful not to hurt his injured shoulder, and easily twisted him around, reversing their positions so that Merlin was up against the door. He leaned onto him, his hands braced on the wood of the door, boxing Merlin in. Merlin smirked at him, obviously pleased at having goaded Arthur into manhandling him, and Arthur growled at him, “Do not screw around with me, little boy. You don’t know what you’re getting into.”

Merlin held his gaze fearlessly. “Yeah, I do.”

Arthur let him go and picked up his bag. “No, you don’t. But you will pretty soon.” He gave him a jaunty grin. “And then you’ll have to save your breath for begging instead of for mouthing off.”

Merlin looked a bit flustered at Arthur’s words, but he had a comeback. _When did he ever not?_ Arthur thought grimly. 

“Ooh, I’m scared,” he said sarcastically, but his eyes were dancing. Arthur pushed him back into the door with one hand on his chest and gave him a hard kiss, nipping at Merlin’s full lower lip a little just to show him that there were consequences for misbehavior. 

Then he dragged his precocious love through the door into the nice, safe public areas.

*****

They both managed to keep their hands to themselves on the drive back to Merlin’s house, and Arthur pulled up in the driveway and got out of the car to open Merlin’s door while Merlin fumbled for his backpack. Merlin seemed surprised at this, and muttered, “I’m not a girl, you know.”

Arthur laughed. “I think we’ve established that. But if we’re going to be together, I’ll treat you with consideration and respect, and I hope you will return those things to me. Besides, you still have a bad shoulder, you need to be careful.”

They stood awkwardly in Hunith’s driveway, neither one of them wanting to say goodbye. But then Arthur caught sight of Hunith standing in the doorway, her gaze fond but still a little anxious. It would take a while for her to get over the fact that her only child had been beaten.

Arthur wished he could reassure her, tell her that for the rest of his life Merlin would never lack for a champion. But he couldn’t, so he gave Hunith a cheery wave and said to Merlin, “See you Monday?”

Merlin agreed, and walked toward the door and his protective parent. But at the last minute he turned around and mouthed the words, “Call me.”

The boy was definitely going to be the death of him, Arthur decided as he backed the car out and headed home.

*****

Arthur made a stop on the way home, at the artisan’s shop where he had commissioned a piece of jewelry. It was to his satisfaction, so he paid for it and put the small box in his pocket. Then he went back to the big apartment that always seemed so empty without Merlin.

As always, he let himself in the front door and walked through what he always thought of as Sophia’s living room, dead and white and sterile. He went back to the rooms where he’d spent time with Merlin, the kitchen and the den, rooms that Merlin had brought to life with his boyish grins and his intrinsic sweetness. Finally he walked back to the two rooms he’d had redecorated.

He was very pleased with the job his consultant had done; she’d carried out his wishes expertly and added her own creative touches to carry out his vision. The bland white-beige-bone color scheme Sophia had favored was gone, and for the first time since he’d moved in Arthur felt really at home.

He looked in the guest room first, the room he thought of as Merlin’s room, even though he didn’t expect Merlin to sleep in there again. He’d kept the bed for form’s sake, just in case Lance or Hunith had any questions when Merlin spent the night. But it was mostly for show. He thought this could be a space for Merlin to study, or for times when Arthur had to work and Merlin was alone. And he wanted Merlin to feel like some portion of the condo was his alone, to use however he liked.

He’d decided when he was planning the room that Merlin was a fey, woodland creature, so he’d had the walls painted a rich forest green. He’d bought a dark wood desk and a new desktop computer and printer, so Merlin could use it for homework. He had two more years of high school, after all, and then college. The room was cozy and warm, and he’d had a mural artist paint constellations in silver glow- in- the- dark paint on the ceiling, so Merlin could look at a night sky if he felt like doing that.

The master bedroom was totally different than it had been the night he and Merlin had slept there. The walls were cocoa brown, the bedding was red, and the bed was piled high with throws made from recycled mink coats. The minimalistic steel-framed bed was gone, replaced by a massive wooden bed. King-sized, of course. There had to be room for two six foot tall men in that bed. It would be a wonderful place to spend what Arthur thought of, without irony, as their wedding night.

He loved the room. Now he just had to wait ten days for Merlin to share it with him.

He really hoped Merlin would like his new home.

*****

Arthur was worn out from the fencing, and feeling kind of lost without Merlin, so a nice slow luxurious wank followed by a nap seemed like a good idea.

He got undressed and got into bed, opening the drawer in his bedside table to get his lube. He idly wondered what kind of lube Merlin liked, and then he remembered, _oh yeah, he’s a virgin, he may not even know about lube yet_. He remembered how embarrassed he’d been when he’d bought his first condoms and first tube of KY. Well, that was something else he could teach Merlin about.

He got hard instantly thinking about the fact that all of Merlin’s first sexual experiences would be with him, and as he started stroking himself he thought, _If there was a national contest for the biggest, bluest balls, I’d be the winner and new cham-peen._

He forced himself to take it slow, trying to concentrate on pleasure and not just on need. He thought of all the things he wanted to try with Merlin. And as he lifted his balls with one hand and rubbed his thumb over that soft spot just behind them on his perineum, he indulged himself by imagining Merlin gasping the first time he did that to him.

He brought himself off fantasizing about all the private places on Merlin’s body that would soon be his to lovingly conquer.

*****

_Arthur woke with his mouth dry and his chest burning like fire. He tried to take in his surroundings, although his brain was dull and stupid. He seemed to be on some kind of low cot, in a tent that was dimly lit with a few candles. He thought back._

_Oh yes, the battle at Castle Guinnion. He’d taken a sword in the side, running deeply along his rib cage and up under his arm. He remembered Lance screaming “Arthur!” as he toppled slowly from his horse. And he remembered Leon’s anxious face peering down at him, and then Merlin’s face, but Merlin was smiling and Arthur suspected he wasn’t really there, and then there was nothing but warm, safe blackness…_

_“Merlin?” he croaked._

_A heap of rags on the floor at the foot of the cot suddenly uncoiled itself and launched itself at him, and he could see his consort, face drawn and gaunt, hair tangled, tracks of tearstains on his cheeks._

_This couldn’t be good. In all their years together, he’d never actually seen Merlin cry, although on a few occasions he had seen unshed tears sparkling in his eyes._

_He traced the clean trail left by Merlin’s tears with his thumb, saying softly, “Hey now, what’s this?”_

_Merlin didn’t answer him, but instead said, “Could you drink some water?”_

_Arthur nodded, head aching and words too difficult to waste. Merlin slipped an arm behind his shoulders and half raised him, helping him drink some clean cold water that was the most delicious thing Arthur had ever tasted._

_Merlin only let him have half of the goblet, saying, “You can have more in a few minutes. I don’t want you wearing it.” His voice was shaking a little. And then he made as if to leave, saying “I’ll just go and get the camp doctor.”_

_Arthur stopped him with a hand on his arm. “Wait. You can go after we talk.”_

_Merlin scrubbed at his eyes and said, “They all said you were going to die.”_

_He was crouched at the head of the bed now, and Arthur was glad he wasn’t standing, because he looked like a light breeze would knock him over. He said, “Give me your hand, Merlin.”_

_Merlin obediently placed his hand in Arthur’s. It was hot and dry. Arthur held it lightly and said, “Merlin. We both know that I am not going to die an old man. Every battle could be my last. And you are going to live to be a very old man; You’ve seen it in the visions. This is the truth of our lives.”_

_Merlin nodded dumbly. Arthur let his voice take on a note of command, because after all, he was the king of Albion, and that had to be good for something._

_“You will not drive yourself into madness mourning me. You will not stop eating and sleeping. You will live out your life and do what good you can, and be a teacher and a healer and a wise man, until we are reunited, whether in the place beyond, or in another life. Do you understand me?”_

_Merlin looked stubborn and said nothing, and Arthur prodded him, “Merlin. I told you, no man is worth your tears, and I am a man who has made plenty of compromises and committed plenty of sins. I expect that you will cry for me, but I also expect you to keep living for me. Give me your word.”_

_Merlin bent his head. “Yes, sire.”_

_“Good. Now go and get the doctor, and Lancelot, and Gwaine. And give me some light.”_

_Merlin waved his fingers behind his back as he pulled the tent flap open, and suddenly dozens of candles blazed in the tent._

_“Showoff,” Arthur muttered._

_The doctor would do whatever nonsense he usually did, and Lance would fill him in on the progress of the battle, and Gwaine would be given the job of making sure Merlin had a meal and a bath and a good night’s sleep before Arthur saw him again._

_But Merlin had the last word, as he almost always did. He came back an hour later, escorted by Gwaine, clean and in fresh clothes, and looking a bit stronger. But he was falling down tired, and Arthur frowned at Gwaine._

_“He threatened to turn me into a toad,” Gwaine shrugged._

_“Next time I’ll let him,” Arthur snapped. Gwaine was unimpressed._

_So Arthur pulled back the covers, and Merlin carefully climbed in, and they fell asleep holding each other in the tiny bed._

*****

Arthur woke up to the sound of his cell phone ringing. He frowned at it in the dim light.

He picked up the phone and Hunith Emrys said, “Arthur, we need to talk.”

*****

He’d been asleep for two hours, and dreaming about a past life with Merlin always made him groggy when he woke up. But Hunith’s words, and her tone, made him snap awake.

He forced himself to keep his voice calm as he said, “What is it, Hunith? Something about Merlin? You sound upset.” He was panicking inside, wondering if Hunith knew something, but he told himself that was just his guilt talking. He had to act like everything was fine.

Hunith’s voice was tense. “Yes, it’s Merlin. His best friend, Will, was over and they were in Merlin’s room playing video games like they always do and all of a sudden I heard them yelling at each other, and Will crashed out of the house, and I tried to talk to Merlin and he told me to fuck off. He’s never done that, never. And now he’s in his room with the door locked and he won’t talk to me and he won’t come out. And I think they came to blows, I could hear something that sounded like a fight.” Hunith paused and said grimly, “I don’t spy on my son. But when they were yelling at each other, I heard your name, several times. So tell me, Arthur, why are Merlin and Will quarreling over you?”

Arthur hadn’t gotten to where he was by crumpling in the face of confrontation. Obviously there was damage control to be done with Hunith. But more importantly, Merlin was upset, and maybe hurt. He had to go over there.

Over years of negotiating in his work life, he’d learned that true but misleading statements were often better tactically than outright lies. So he started out calmly, “I don’t know why my name was brought up in their quarrel.” _This was technically true, he didn’t know. But he could make a pretty good guess._ “You know how teenaged boys are. The hormones make them volatile.” _This was also true, and had the further advantage of putting him and Hunith on the same team, as older and wiser adults who understood teenagers and their foibles. A supposed community of interest might make Hunith less suspicious._ “Maybe he’s jealous of the attention Lance and I have been paying to Merlin, taking him to the fencing club and all that.” _Make Hunith think about that little worm’s motivations, and deflect attention from a possibly dangerous twosome to a nice innocent threesome._

She sighed, and he could feel some of the tension leaving her. He tried to sound concerned but not overly interested as he moved in for the kill.

“If you want, I could come over and try to talk to him. I’m going out tonight, but I have a couple of hours before I have to leave. Maybe it would be easier to talk to someone outside of the family.” _Another lie. His only plans for the evening were doing some Internet research on how to fuck a virgin, since he’d never actually bedded one before. But it was better to make Hunith think he was doing her a favor._

She sounded grateful. “That would be great, Arthur, if it isn’t too much trouble.”

“No trouble. I’m happy to help, if I can. I’ll be there in half an hour.”

He knew he should hate himself for taking advantage of Hunith’s concern for her child, but that seemed unimportant compared to the prime directive of making sure Merlin was okay.

He would cheerfully kill for Merlin, if he had to. Lying to Merlin’s mother was a minor thing, hardly worth a second thought to him.

He was just glad he was going to be able to get to see Merlin without breaking down a door.

*****

Arthur tried to call Merlin, but he wasn’t picking up. That wasn’t a good sign. He thought about just throwing on some jeans and rushing over there, but he’d told Hunith he was going out, and he should try to add some authenticity to the lie.

Besides, he couldn’t very well face Hunith with dried come on his belly from jerking off thinking about her son.

So he showered quickly and put on a nice dress casual outfit while he decided where he was supposed to be going that night. Dinner with friends sounded plausible. Or even better, a date. He splashed on some cologne and decided if Hunith asked, he would tell her that he was meeting a date at a restaurant, and that he was going straight there after he talked to Merlin. That sounded good.

When Hunith got there, she still looked very worried. She opened the door silently and showed him down the hallway where Merlin’s room was.

He gave her a tight smile, and said, “I’ll try to get him to come out and talk to you as soon as I can, okay?”

“Thank you, Arthur,” she said softly.

He felt a pang of guilt, but he pushed it aside. But even though he knew she wouldn’t approve of him wanting to have a sexual relationship with her son, the truth was that he was there because he was genuinely concerned about him. Upset teenagers sometimes did stupid things, and he wasn’t having any of that on his watch.

He knocked softly and said, “Merlin, it’s Arthur. Will you open the door and talk to me?”

There was a long silence, but then Arthur heard footsteps approaching the door. Merlin never moved particularly quietly, and he hadn’t quite grown into his feet yet. Arthur would recognize the sound of those trainers anywhere.

The door opened, and Merlin turned his back immediately, wordlessly walking back and throwing himself on his unmade bed, his arm over his eyes. 

Arthur walked over to the bed, and gently pulled Merlin’s arm away from his face. Merlin looked up at him, his expression guilty and defiant, and Arthur hissed when he saw the beginnings of a fine black eye.

“ _Mer_ -lin..” he began reproachfully, but Merlin cut him off, saying angrily, “Save it. I threw the first punch, okay?”

Arthur wasn’t going to argue with him right at that moment. He went to the kitchen, closing the kitchen door carefully behind him, and was looking in the kitchen drawers for a Ziploc bag when Hunith came in. “Is he hurt?” she said softly.

“He’s fine, just a black eye. I need an ice pack.” He found a baggie and held it up triumphantly. Hunith took it from him and began filling it with ice cubes, then wrapped it in a dish towel. “Here,” she said, handing it to Arthur. She said, “Wait,” and reached into the refrigerator to get a can of Coke. She handed it to Arthur, saying simply, “He likes Coke.”

Arthur surprised himself by pulling her into a brief hug. He knew he had a tendency to look at her as an obstacle, and he knew that one day they might be bitter enemies. But she loved her son with all her heart, and she’d done a great job raising an unusual child all by herself. And she was worried sick.

So he hugged her for a few seconds, and she hugged back, and he felt a little envious of Merlin for having a mother. 

He pulled away and nodded to her in thanks, for the ice pack and the drink and something more intangible, and went back to what was really important to him.

*****

He pushed the door open without knocking this time, and crossed the room to Merlin, perching on the bed next to Merlin’s long jean-clad legs. He handed him the icepack and said, “Hold this on your eye. Not too long, you have to alternate putting it on and keeping it off.”

Merlin looked reluctant, and Arthur said sharply, “Don’t be an idiot. Do you really want everyone at school wagging their tongues about your fight with your best friend? If you ice it, it will look somewhat less awful for the rest of the week, which might be a nice thing for your mother. Especially considering the way you scared her just a couple of weeks ago.”

Merlin took it, and took the Coke, too, popping the tab and taking a deep drink. Arthur tried to distract himself from the way the muscles in Merlin’s throat looked as he swallowed by looking around the room. It was fairly messy, with clothes in piles, posters for indie bands on the walls, stacks of cds and video games on the dresser, and pictures of Merlin’s school friends tucked into the mirror.

 _God, he’s so young,_ Arthur thought.

But what he said was “So you want to tell me what happened?”

Merlin shook his head, and Arthur put a hand on his thigh and squeezed lightly, saying, “I can only help if I know what’s wrong.”

Merlin’s voice was full of anger. “He called you a pedophile!”

“And that’s why you punched him?”

“Of course I punched him! You aren’t a pedophile!”

Arthur stroked Merlin’s leg lightly, not as a come- on, but just to keep in contact with him as he spoke. “Well, you’re right. I’m not a pedophile. A pedophile is a person who is sexually attracted to children younger than puberty. But that doesn’t mean that I am not on very shaky moral ground here. I think you know your mind, and I’m waiting until you can legally give consent. But if I were a better person, I would leave you to your life and the school newspaper and maybe some awkward fumbles with a boy or a girl behind the bleachers at the football field at school. That’s what you should be doing, not getting involved with a man old enough to be your father.”

“I know what I want. I want you.” Merlin was stubborn.

Arthur traced his thumb around the sweet outline of Merlin’s lips, but when he spoke he made himself sound stern. “And I want you. But if you want this, if you want a life with me, you have to be smarter. Can’t you see that all you’ve done is confirmed Will’s suspicions? You should have laughed it off. Now you have a rift with your oldest friend, your mother is wondering if she should let you see me anymore, and we have a mess to clean up. Not well played, love.”

Merlin said angrily, “I get to defend you.”

Arthur struggled to keep from laughing at this passionate, headstrong boy. He said formally, “I am honored. But I can take care of myself, you know. One day we’ll stand before the world as a team, a couple, legally and otherwise. But until then, you have to choose your battles. And I _will not_ have you getting in fights over me. If it happens again, I’ll refuse to see you for a month. Do you understand?”

Merlin was horrified. “You wouldn’t do that.”

“You don’t want to find out. Now, are you ready to go apologize to your mother for swearing at her, and for acting like a hooligan in her house?”

Merlin nodded, looking a bit shame-faced. Arthur pressed a kiss to his forehead, and they went to face Hunith.

*****

The next couple of weeks were horrid for Arthur.

The conversation with Hunith had gone well, and she’d seemed genuinely grateful for Arthur’s help. But she had also gently hinted that it might be better for Merlin to spend more time with his peers. She hadn’t forbidden Merlin to see Arthur, but she had made it known that outings with him were to be an occasional treat, not an every weekend thing.

Arthur knew that she wasn’t a stupid woman, so he had gracefully agreed with her, then told her that he was running late for a date. He’d let himself out, and had looked back to see Merlin and Hunith in a pool of lamplight, her face tender as she stroked the side of her son’s face.

He didn’t think that she actually realized he was intent on getting her son in his bed, but she was concerned about appearances, and about Merlin spending time with his friends. She had a good heart, and was inclined to think well of people, so she wasn’t as suspicious as she might have been otherwise.

Arthur could see her point of view, he really could. But he knew that once Merlin turned sixteen, she would have no legal grounds for keeping them apart, even if she found out their secret. Sure, she could try to ground Merlin, or forbid him to see Arthur, or even throw Merlin out of the house to fend for himself. But he doubted she would go to such extremes, and if she did he would take Merlin in. And forbidding a sixteen year old to do anything was a losing game; it just made the forbidden thing more attractive.

Arthur knew if he was patient he would win this contest. He was going to win _Merlin._ It was the waiting that was so difficult. 

In the few snatches of conversation Arthur was able to have with Merlin in the office, he warned him to go along with what Hunith said, and to spend more time with kids from school. He was doing well at school, and he had actually acquired a kind of hero status for having survived a beating and coming back to school with his head high. He got invited to some group things on the weekends with some of his classmates, and he and Will patched things up at least superficially, which made Hunith happy.

Arthur and Merlin talked on the phone every night, and Arthur was happy for Merlin as he rambled on about movies and coffeeshop dates and high school gossip, but he missed spending time with him. And he missed the kisses and touches and the flirty looks Merlin gave him under his eyelashes, and the bittersweet pain of being close to Merlin but not being able to touch him.

He could hear the longing in Merlin’s voice when they talked, and he didn’t begrudge Merlin the time spent with his contemporaries. But he was starting to wonder if it was possible to die of sexual frustration.

*****

Hunith was offered the job that required frequent travel to California, and was grateful for the opportunity. She came to Arthur to thank him for putting in a good word for her, and said she would miss working with him on a daily basis.

He would miss her, too, but since he was planning in making love to her son behind her back every chance he got, he wasn’t sorry to not have to encounter her every day. 

It wasn’t the easiest thing in the world to maintain a business relationship when he was remembering the exact shade of brownish- pink of Merlin’s nipples, and the shape of his cock seen through a sheer shower curtain. Or when he spent hours each day imagining the exact sound those pretty lips would form the first time Arthur slid balls-deep into his body. Or how exquisite the texture of the skin of Merlin’s cock would be the first time he took him in his mouth.

Lance was a bit of a problem, too, with his damned chivalry and his tendency to stick his handsome nose where it didn’t belong. They still had lunch together most days, and one day Lance broached the subject of Merlin.

“You know, Arthur, I’ve seen some of the desperate looks ricocheting around this office, and as your oldest friend I want to tell you that you had better be very careful what you get yourself into.”

Arthur’s defense was automatic. “I have no idea what you mean. And if Merlin has a bit of a hero worship thing going on with me, it isn’t that surprising, is it?”

Lance shook his head in disbelief and said pityingly, “I’m not talking about the way he looks at you. I’m talking about the way you look at him. You look at him like you’re desperately in love with him. You never looked at Sophia with even half of the tenderness in your eyes that I see when you look at Merlin.”

Arthur was shocked. He’d been so worried about Merlin giving them away, and now Lance was saying he was the obvious one? But his tone was cold as he replied, “You’re imagining things. And since you’ve given me advice, let me give you some. Don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answers to. You’re like a brother to me, but I won’t tolerate you interfering in my private business.”

Lance’s eyes held a challenge, “If you hurt that boy, you’ll be answering to me.”

Arthur’s answer was crisp and to the point. “I have no intention of hurting Merlin.”

And then to top it all off, Hunith decided that to celebrate Merlin’s sixteenth birthday, she would take him with her on her first business trip to San Francisco.

Arthur had the distinct feeling that Fate was a cock-blocking bitch.

*****

When Hunith casually told him that she would be taking Merlin with her to San Francisco to celebrate his birthday, Arthur felt like he’d been punched in the gut. But he kept his expression neutral, even managed to say “I’m sure he’ll love it,” before trying to change the subject. But Hunith was going on about taking Merlin to visit Berkeley and maybe Stanford, suggesting they might be schools he should consider for his undergraduate degree.

He had to take a deep breath before answering pleasantly, “He’s a bright kid. He should definitely look at a lot of top schools.” But inside he was thinking, _That is not happening. There are plenty of great schools right here. Once Merlin moves in with me, he won’t be moving away. Ever._

When their conversation was finished and she left his office, he slumped back in his chair, feeling defeated. He had been counting on making Merlin his on his sixteenth birthday, on Beltane. The disappointment was a solid weight pressing down on his heart. 

But then he rallied and made another plan, the way he always did. What difference did a few days make? He’d waited so long already; he could stand this if he had to stand it. 

Merlin showed up in his office that afternoon, looking totally miserable. Fortunately, Hunith was already working on another floor, and Arthur had been at pains to point out to his new administrative assistant that he and Merlin were working on a project together that required lots of one on one time. 

He had gotten into the habit of having closed door meetings with his staff, too. That way, having Merlin in his office with the door closed wouldn’t seem remarkable. 

He’d already decided to continue Merlin’s internship through the summer and into the fall. Merlin was bright and able, and a great favorite in the office; he knew they could find projects for him to do that would benefit Pendragon Limited. And keeping Merlin close to him was an additional benefit. 

Merlin was starting to work himself into a good rant about the unfairness of Hunith dragging him away for his birthday, but Arthur stopped him in mid-sentence. “Close the door, Merlin.” Merlin complied, but then flopped himself down on the leather couch in the corner and said dramatically, “I'm gonna die of frustration.” 

In spite of everything, Arthur laughed. “No, you won’t, Merlin. If such a thing was possible, I’d be dead by now.” 

“Maybe I could pretend to be sick and stay here,” Merlin said hopefully. 

“No, if you were too sick to go your mother would stay here, too. And besides, you might enjoy San Francisco. It’s a great city.” 

Merlin pulled his arm away from where he had it over his eyes like the world was too much to bear. His blue eyes were wide and tragic as he said, “She wants me to _look at schools.”_

“You should look at schools, it will be a good experience for you,” Arthur answered calmly. “But when it comes time for you to actually choose a school, we’ll do it together, and it won’t be on the West Coast.” 

Merlin calmed down a bit. “Okay,” he said. Arthur knew that Merlin trusted him, and he felt a twinge of guilt that he was using that trust to manipulate Merlin into doing what he wanted. Merlin was young, in the first throes of sexual passion, easy to sway. But he shoved the guilt aside, as he always did. 

This was more than just lust. It was _destiny_. He knew it in his bones. 

Merlin was lying on his back on the couch, and Arthur came and knelt by his side. His “no sex with Merlin until he’s sixteen” ban didn’t extend to kissing, and he couldn’t resist. Merlin looked so fuckable lying there, with his hair tousled and his jeans so loose Arthur could so easily have slipped a hand inside them and stroked Merlin's cock. 

_No harm in a few kisses,_ he lied to himself. And then he kissed Merlin until he was whimpering and his mouth was red, and whispered in his ear, “Just another week or so until I have you in my bed.” 

Then he pulled Merlin up and straightened out his clothes and wiped off his wet mouth with the heel of his hand, and shoved him out of his office before he could weaken and fuck him over the round conference table. 

*****

Arthur had a plan. It was his company, after all, and he could make things happen.

The California project team was supposed to be in San Francisco from April 26th through May 2nd. He knew from talking to Hunith that she had carefully planned the trip around a weekend, so that Merlin would only miss a few days of school. He’d been able to tell from her tone of voice that she was feeling a little guilty about keeping him out of school at all.

She’d shown him a weakness, and as a good tactician he figured out how to use that weakness.

He’d gone to a fair amount of effort to allay any suspicions she might have had about him and Merlin. He’d started dating a pretty blonde woman named Elena, and made sure she stopped by the office a time or two while Hunith was still working there. He’d taken her to a charity ball, and he was confident that everyone in the office had seen the picture of them arm in arm, smiling for the camera.

Elena was fun, but they had no chemistry, and in any event his heart was committed to Merlin. But he figured a few dates were a small price to pay to throw Hunith off the scent, and he figured he owed Elena nothing more than to be a polite date and try to show her a good time.

He’d coached Merlin to not bring up his name often in front of Hunith, and to talk more about Lance and Leon.

He’d said goodbye to Merlin the night before he and Hunith left, trying to keep it casual but maybe gripping Merlin’s chest a little too hard as he hugged him. Aching with loneliness even though Merlin hadn’t even left yet, he’d spent the evening studying the agenda for the trip. He thought it through and called the team leader and made some suggestions that would involve keeping Hunith there five days longer. 

As the CO and majority stockholder of Pendragon Limited, he had no doubt that his subtle suggestions would be treated as orders. 

_It’s good to be king,_ , he thought ironically.

So he wasn’t surprised when Hunith called him midway through the trip and said that she was going to have to send Merlin back early. The team was moving to Seattle to look at some innovative green architecture that might be suitable for the San Francisco branch. She didn’t want to extend Merlin’s stay, and she didn’t want to leave Merlin alone in a hotel room.

In fact, she was sending Merlin back a day early, because she had to be in Seattle on May 1st. She called and asked if Arthur would mind picking Merlin up at the airport.

He didn’t mind.

*****

That night Arthur had one of his vivid dreams about another life with Merlin.

_It was Yule, and they’d both had more of the punch and mead than might have strictly speaking been wise. Merlin stumbled just slightly as they left the banquet, and Arthur grabbed his elbow, saying “Idiot!” in an affectionate tone._

_They’d been sleeping together for six months, and they still had trouble keeping their hands off each other. Arthur had asked Merlin to leave Gaius’s rooms, and officially he slept in an antechamber off Arthur’s bedroom. But it was an open secret in the castle that Arthur shared his bed with his manservant. Arthur suspected that even Uther knew, although it was beneath Uther’s dignity to acknowledge what he probably thought was just a passing dalliance._

_Someday, when he was king, Arthur planned to move Merlin into a position more befitting his talents, as an adviser. But first Merlin would have to be honest with him about exactly what his talents were._

_The stone walls were cold, but another servant had lit the fire, and the bed was heaped with thick woven blankets and furs. They’d carried a bottle of mead off with them, laughing about their daring theft even though it was unlikely that the crown prince would be scolded for indulging himself at Yuletide._

_They shivered as they undressed and jumped under the covers, leaning against the pillows to watch the fire. The bottle got lighter as they passed it back and forth, and they shared stories of childhood winters. Eventually Merlin turned to the present and said awkwardly, “I wanted to thank you for the things you sent to my mother. The wine and the food you sent will make quite a feast in Ealdor.”_

_“You don’t need to thank me, Merlin. I’m fond of Hunith, and I’m glad to have the means to brighten her Yule.”_

_Merlin’s eyes were shining. “I wish that I could give you something that would make you as happy as you made her.”_

_Arthur blurted it out before he could stop himself. “There is something you could give me that would make me that happy, Merlin.”  
Merlin looked cautious, and Arthur hated the necessity for that caution. But he plunged ahead, saying, “You could honor what we feel for each other by showing me what you really are.”_

_He could see the automatic denial on Merlin’s face, and the fear, covered by a nervous grin. But before Merlin could come up with a lie (he was an abysmal liar) he saw something shift in his eyes, a decision made. Merlin whispered, “You know.”_

_Arthur leaned down for a kiss, sweet and lingering, before he commanded, “Show me.”_

_He watched in awe as Merlin’s eyes glowed gold, and then an amazing transformation took place. He heard a soft swoosh as the canopy over his bed split into two halves, as neatly as a cleaved apple. The halves moved away until they were at right angles to the bed, and the ceiling of the room parted and the stones folded in on themselves like a bolt of silk. Arthur found himself staring at the night sky._

_Merlin spoke some words in an ancient language, and the stars moved closer. They were so big and bright, Arthur felt like he could reach up and touch them. He turned to Merlin, stunned, and it took him several tries to get the words out. “You …you moved the stars.”_

_Merlin smiled at him, proud and shy. “I moved the stars for you.”_

_Merlin kissed him, thoroughly and slowly, and when he slid inside Arthur, a timeless canopy of stars bore witness to the love of a warlock and his king._

*****

Arthur hadn’t talked to Merlin much while he was away; it hurt too much. But they did text occasionally, and they left it that Arthur would wait for Merlin at the cellphone waiting area, and Merlin would let him know when he was ready to be picked up. The flight got in late on May 1, around ten PM, and Arthur got there early, aching to hear from Merlin.

His hand shook a little when he answered the phone, and Merlin said, “Arthur, I’m here. Pick me up at the curb.”

He recognized that tall, coltish body when he pulled up at the curb, and Merlin threw his backpack in the back seat and jumped into the front seat. Arthur studied him for a few moments, stealing a glance before the other drivers started honking their horns.

Merlin was in ill-fitting jeans and a hoodie, as usual. But the hoodie was red, which made him smile. And Merlin looked slightly different, a little older, with a bit of stubble on his jaw and his hair a trifle longer, curling on his nape.

He dragged his eyes away from Merlin’s face and pulled away from the curb, and tried to keep his voice casual as he said, “How was the flight? Are you hungry? We could stop and get some food.”

“Arthur.” Merlin’s voice thrummed with tension. “Just take me to your house. Please.”

They didn’t talk after that, or touch. The ride seemed interminable, and then they fell into step in the parking garage as they walked toward the elevator. A memory nagged at Arthur as he saw that Merlin had taken his usual position slightly behind him. _Lance at my right hand, Merlin at my left, Gwaine behind us to protect Merlin. The diamond shape that they had automatically fallen into hundreds and hundreds of times. I wonder where Gwaine is this time around?_

They finally reached the door to Arthur’s condo, and Arthur unlocked it and politely held it open for Merlin. No sooner had he closed it again than Merlin was rushing him, dropping his backpack heedlessly wherever it fell and crowding him into the door. Merlin’s skinny body slammed into his, and Merlin’s tongue demanded entrance to his mouth, and he felt surrounded by Merlin, a force of nature. 

_Well, I guess I didn’t need to worry he’d be shy,_ Arthur thought, and that was the last coherent thought he had for a while.  
Merlin was wiry and strong, and he clearly had a passion for what he was doing. Arthur tangled his fingers in Merlin’s hair, and when Merlin let him breathe, he murmured, “Missed you so much. I thought I’d die.” 

“So did I,” Merlin said breathlessly. He thrust his thigh between Arthur’s legs, and Arthur moved his hands down to the hem of the hoodie, lifting it up and sliding his hands onto the smooth skin above Merlin’s waist.

He’d carefully set a tableau in his bedroom for their first time, with a vase of cut orchids on the dresser and artfully soft lighting. But none of that mattered as the drumbeat of his heartbeat sounded one word. “ _Mine…mine…mine._ ” 

He lowered his hands to Merlin’s ass, gasping as he finally finally got to touch that skinny little behind that had played such a large part in his fantasies. It felt as good as he’d imagined, except for that damned denim in the way. He growled in frustration, and ground out, “too… many…clothes” punctuating each word with a squeeze of Merlin’s luscious rear end.

He slid a hand down the front of Merlin’s jeans, reaching for his cock, but they were so eager and uncoordinated that he couldn’t reach his goal. Merlin was wild, fumbling at him and pushing against him and basically making a mess of things, and Arthur decided that it was time for him to take charge.

He scooped Merlin up, easily lifting Merlin’s thighs and wrapping the long legs around his waist. Then he laid his teenaged love out on the floor and climbed on top of him, reason forgotten in the mad desire to fulfill his favorite fantasy of covering him with his body and just rutting against him.

He didn’t bother much with their clothes, just fumbling with zippers and buttons enough to get their cocks free. Merlin wasn’t wearing any underwear, and when Arthur felt that he grazed Merlin’s earlobe with his teeth and murmured, “You’re a very bad boy.” Merlin, too far gone to be sassy with him, just groaned.

Arthur’s need to possess and control kicked in, and he grabbed Merlin’s wrists and pinned them over his head. Merlin struggled a little, but Arthur tightened his grip and growled, “Let me do this, you’ll like it,” and he subsided. 

Arthur kept one hand on Merlin’s slim wrists and with the other one he stroked Merlin’s cock firmly, saying caressingly to Merlin, “So pretty, so perfect.” Merlin’s cock was everything he’d imagined it would be, long like he was, but thick, too, purple with engorgement, the velvety texture exquisite and the weight perfect in his hand. He kept his eyes locked on Merlin’s as he stroked, and he knew it wouldn’t be long. The poor kid had been waiting for so long, and it was the first time anyone’s hand except his own had touched him.

He loved the expressions that flashed across Merlin’s face as he fisted his cock, but he didn’t want Merlin’s first time to be over too soon, so he stopped stroking. Merlin groaned and thrust his hips up demandingly, but Arthur said smugly, “I think you need more kissing,” and kept his hand wrapped around Merlin’s prick while he tried to see how far he could get down Merlin’s throat with his tongue. Merlin kept making these excited little noises and Arthur thrust against his thigh, heedless of earlier worries that the first time he had Merlin underneath him he would embarrass himself by coming too quickly. 

The kisses were deep and dizzying, tinged with memories of past kisses and fantasies he’d had for months. He finally relented and let go of Merlin’s wrists, and Merlin clutched at him, rocking underneath him and moaning until he finally begged, “Arthur…. _please.”_

Arthur pulled his mouth away and bit at Merlin’s neck. Through the haze of lust, he remembered it was a bad idea to leave marks on Merlin where someone might see them, so he moved lower, sucking on Merlin’s collarbone as he reached down and fondled his smooth, heavy balls. Merlin made another one of those appealing sounds, halfway between a whimper and a grunt, and Arthur squeezed his balls very lightly. Then he held his palm up to Merlin’s mouth and said, “Lick it.”

Merlin did, and when he had it good and wet, Arthur stopped messing around and brought him off in eight or nine strokes, hot semen spilling over Arthur’s fist.

He spread his fingers and rubbed the wetness over Merlin’s flat belly, and then gently cupped Merlin’s softening cock as he gave in to the urge to just thrust, wrapping his legs around Merlin’s thigh and whispering dirty things in his ear as he got himself off humping Merlin’s leg. The denim was a little rough against his cock, but he didn’t care, he just wanted to move his hips against that strong young body, finally his. He came with a shout, Merlin’s fingers scrabbling at his ribs, and slumped on top of Merlin.

He roused himself in a minute or two, flipping onto his back and pulling Merlin against his side, stroking his hair. He knew they probably looked ridiculous, lying on a hard wooden floor with their flies barely open and their limp cocks hanging out, but it hardly seemed to matter, and there was no one but them to see anyway. He kissed the top of Merlin’s head and said softly, “You good, little hawk?”

Merlin stretched languidly and answered, “I’m good.” He sounded sleepy, and much as Arthur was loving this, he didn’t want them falling asleep on the cold hard floor.

“C’mon, Merlin, I have a perfectly good bed,” he coaxed. Merlin grumbled, but let himself be pulled to his feet and shepherded into the bedroom.

Merlin let Arthur undress him like an obedient child, lifting his arms so Arthur could get off his hoodie and t-shirt. There was a bit of a delay while Arthur bent his head and mouthed at Merlin’s nipples, and that made it more difficult to get Merlin’s jeans off, since Merlin was mostly hard again by the time Arthur got his socks and shoes off and reached to pull the jeans off his bony hips.

“Jesus, Merlin, your hard-on is just about the same size as you are,” Arthur said admiringly, and Merlin’s pale cheeks blushed delightfully. Arthur decided that he was going to have to make that happen several times a day- it was very fetching.

Merlin looked very tired, and Arthur remembered he’d been traveling all day. He should probably let the poor lad sleep.

On the other hand, there was nothing like a nice goodnight blow job to make a young man sleep well. So he told Merlin, “Don’t move,” and quickly shucked out of his sweater, trying not to puff out his chest when Merlin’s admiring gaze fell on it. He was naked in another ninety seconds, and then he was gently pushing Merlin to sit on the edge of the bed. 

He pushed Merlin’s knees apart, and Merlin was weekly protesting¸ “Get up, Arthur, whatever you want to do, we can do it in the bed.” But Arthur shook his head, stubborn, and said, “I want to kneel for you.”

He wrapped his fist around Merlin’s cock again, thinking that already it felt familiar, and took an experimental swipe over the head. Merlin made a sound that sounded gratifyingly like “nrgggggggh” and then Arthur proceeded to show him the results of years of serious study of the art of cocksucking.

He tried to draw it out, varying the depth and intensity of his moves, teasing into the slit and swirling around the head with his tongue before taking Merlin in deep. Sometimes he licked at Merlin’s cock like it was an ice cream cone melting on a hot day, sometimes he hollowed his cheeks and sucked hard, and sometimes he relaxed enough that he could feel Merlin’s cock bumping against the back of his throat.

Merlin tried to be restrained and gentlemanly, but Arthur wasn’t having any of that. He pulled off for a moment and picked Merlin’s hands up from where they were gripping the edge of the mattress and said, “I want to feel you.” Merlin threaded his fingers into Arthur’s hair, stroking tentatively as Arthur went down on him again. But as he got closer he started gripping the sides of Arthur’s face to hold him in place as he thrust, and Arthur hummed encouragingly.

When Merlin came, he was so carried away that he pulled Arthur’s hair, and the sting of that combined with the salty taste of Merlin made Arthur as hard as a roll of quarters. He felt himself coming as he swallowed, and reached down to angle his cock so he would get the mess on his thigh and not all over the bedding.

They clung to each other through the aftershocks, Arthur still kneeling, and both of them trembling with emotion and satiation. Merlin stroked Arthur’s hair and murmured, “so good” until Arthur felt like his legs could support him.

He went and got a warm washcloth to clean them up, and Merlin smiled at him sleepily as he wiped off his belly and balls and thighs and said, “Your room is beautiful. I like what you did with it.” 

Arthur slid in next to him and answered, “Our room now.” 

He held Merlin until he fell asleep, and drifted off with a smile on his face, finally at peace.

*****

Fortunately, the next day was a Saturday. For the rest of the weekend they only moved out of the bed to piss and shower and get food.

The third time they made love Arthur taught Merlin what the sixty-nine position was like. Merlin was an enthusiastic student.

The fourth time they made love was in the shower, and Arthur got down on his knees again in the hot massage spray, toying with the rim of Merlin’s asshole with his thumb as he sucked him off. When Merlin was coming he slipped it in just to the bottom of his thumbnail, and Merlin seemed to like it.

The fifth time, he brought the lube into bed with them. He slicked up the little finger of his left hand and slid it into Merlin as he jerked him off, looking at him intently for any sign of discomfort or embarrassment. He saw none.

The sixth time, he let Merlin fuck him, showing him how to prep and stretch him, and getting on his hands and knees and sticking his ass in the air, spreading his cheeks with his hands and telling Merlin to hold his prick as he pushed it in. Merlin was hesitant, but Arthur reassured him, and said, “You won’t hurt me. I’m going to love it.” He did love it, and Merlin loved it so much that he spent the next half hour apologizing for the rather small number of thrusts he managed before he came inside Arthur. 

Arthur tried to reassure him that everyone’s first time was like that, the heat and the tightness were too much, and that he was flattered. But Merlin still fretted, chewing on his pretty, full lower lip and stammering out how embarrassed he was that he didn’t make it good for Arthur. Arthur finally had to shut him up with kisses.

The seventh time they made love, Arthur teased Merlin and kept him on the edge until Merlin threatened to go jerk off in the bathroom all by himself, and Arthur promised, “I am going to learn every single thing you like, and one of these days I’m going to tie you up and use it against you until you scream for mercy.” And then he let Merlin fuck him again, this time face to face.

The eighth time they made love Arthur crawled up from where he’d been sucking on Merlin’s eager (and admirably resilient) cock and said, “I’d like to be inside you, will you let me?” 

Merlin, always so sweet and eager and loving, said, “I’ve been waiting for you to ask.” But then he got smart with Arthur, grinning and saying teasingly, “I wondered if you were afraid you couldn't handle it, old man.”

“This old man is going to have you thinking twice before you sit down for the next week,” Arthur promised, but he went as slowly and carefully as he could, preparing Merlin until he was grinding up against him in frustration. He wanted to be able to see Merlin’s face, so he hooked Merlin’s legs over his shoulders and tilted his pelvis up. He watched Merlin as he moved inside him, and his face held traces of discomfort, but also love and something close to awe.

He fucked him slow and sweet and then fast and dirty, and Merlin reached back and held on to the headboard for traction as he took everything Arthur had to give, thrusting back wildly. 

As he looked down on his beautiful boy, he took a firmer grip on the back of Merlin’s thighs and changed his angle, coaxing him. “Come for me, sweetheart.”

Merlin reached down and stroked himself just a couple of times before he was spurting over his chest.

Arthur let go of Merlin’s legs and leaned over him as he thrust, supporting his weight on his elbows. He claimed one more kiss and then he was gone, coming for what felt like forever.

When they’d sorted out their arms and legs and Merlin was cuddled up against him, he said with a yawn, “When can we do it again?”  
Arthur laughed in sheer joy. “You are irrepressible, aren’t you?”

“Nope,” Merlin grinned. “I’m insatiable. And you love me for it.”

Arthur’s eyes were serious. “I do. I do love you.” 

He reached into the drawer in his bedside table and pulled out a small jewelry box. He reached for Merlin’s left hand, and kissed the slim fingers before slipping a ring on the fourth finger, saying gently, “I owe you a ring.”

It wasn’t a terribly expensive or elaborate ring; Arthur couldn’t expose Merlin to the scrutiny that would result if he bought Merlin the ring he really wanted to buy him. But it conveyed the meaning Arthur wanted.

“It’s a Celtic symbol for eternity,” he explained. He watched as Merlin studied it, and felt needy as he said, “I was hoping you would wear it to remind you of me when we can’t be together.”

“You’re such a dollop head,” Merlin said fondly. “As if I need any reminders of how much I love you.”

“Dollop head is not an acceptable English expression, clown,” Arthur chided him.

“I made it up. It’s perfect for you and that big blond head of yours …” Merlin’s words trailed off in a yawn, and Arthur said, “You should go to sleep, you have school tomorrow.”

Arthur ran his fingers through Merlin’s hair until he fell asleep, cradled against him, pliant and warm.

He knew they didn’t have an easy time ahead of them. There might be a scandal if their relationship came to light, and that could be bad for his company. They would have to be very discreet until Merlin was in his twenties. And Hunith wasn’t going to take it well, that was a given.

But he knew she would come around when he saw how much he and Merlin loved each other. And he knew that no matter what, she wouldn’t turn her back on Merlin. That was something she had in common with Arthur; Merlin was the most precious thing they knew.

He gazed down at the beautiful man-child in his arms and promised in a whisper, “Never going to let you go.”  


And Merlin stirred in his sleep and murmured, “sire.”


End file.
